- In this blog post, I will share with you three lessons on love that I took from the movie and book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
This week I reviewed one of my non-fictional favourite movies. It might have been the third or fourth time I watched, but it is amazing how we always find different nuggets of wisdom each time we watch or read something again.
I rewatched the movie in two nights, because I would start watching it pretty late and then fall asleep. A “voice” had told me I needed to watch it again though, so I did my best to finish and follow it thoroughly. And guess what, here is a blog post out of it!
Elizabeth’s story always resonated with me. There’s a speech in the movie which describes the relationship between narcissistic and codependent personalities. More or less, I have also described that relationship here on the blog. If you are a giver, people pleaser, and you do experience a lot of drama in your relationships, I recommend you to have a look on that article and also do some research on narcissistic abuse and codependency. This blog post is, however, focused on lessons that help us to grow and love again. Are you ready for them?
If Your Heart is Wounded, It Means You Fought For Something
They might have been foolish fights, but you did fight for something you thought to be important for you. I don’t regret the night I took a bus and did 500Km to be with a man I thought I was in love with. It was pouring rain and I had never been in that city before. Still, I wasn’t scared. Today, I wouldn’t do it. No; but at that time I didn’t want or I didn’t know how to spot certain red flags. It turned out to be another wound in my heart, but I don’t regret the fact I fought for something meaningful to me.
You Don’t Need a (Wo)Man, You Need a Champion
When we desperately want a relationship, it means we need someone in our life to have some sense of meaning. It means we don’t know ourselves as individuals and we actually avoid doing such thing. You don’t know how to be present for yourself and you don’t know how to live your own life. The more you know yourself though, and the more you learn how to live the life your soul asks you, the more you will wish to share you life with an equal partner. You don’t need a partner, you choose a partner and you choose him or her very carefully because you know yourself enough and all you are looking for is unconditional love, not validation.
To Lose Balance For Love Is Part of Living a Balanced Life
The search for the self and the search for balance after years and years of unhealthy relationships is tough, because unhealthy relationships are mainly caused by a lack of boundaries and sense of self-definition. Setting boundaries and define ourselves as individuals when we spent most of our life mirroring other people’s needs and expectations is hard and a fine art. When we finally think we are in a good place and that we did the all the work that had to be done, the fear of going back to our old self kicks as soon as we face the possibility of a new relationship. What if you lose yourself again? What if you lose the balance that it was so hard to achieve? The truth is that life is made of experiences and if we close our hearts because we fear we will lose ourselves again, then we have learned anything yet about life.