The 6 Paradoxical Human Needs

Anthony Robbins suggests there are 6 human core needs. He divides these needs into personality needs and spiritual needs. Within the personality ones, he identifies the needs for certainty and uncertainty, the need for significance, and the need for love and connection. As for spiritual needs, Anthony talks about the need for growth and the need for grounding. Although it’s not an extensive categorization of human needs, this framework makes sense to me and it is a simple way to start to get to know ourselves a little bit more.

How can a person need certainty and uncertainty at the same time? It’s part of our dual nature and the reason why we say these needs are “paradoxical”.

The peculiarity of these pairs of needs is that they contradict each other on a surface level. How can a person need certainty and uncertainty at the same time? It’s part of our dual nature and the reason why we say these needs are “paradoxical”. I believe the more we accept our own duality, the more we can accept ourselves, especially when we feel restless and confronted with the polarity of our needs. Let’s have a closer look at them.

The Need for Certainty and The Need for Uncertainty

We like to have some control over our life and work. Imagine how stressed you would feel if I told you that tomorrow morning you need to pack all your office stuff and leave. Or imagine you return home just to find a notice saying your building is about to be demolished in one week. How much would your life suddenly change thanks to this unpredicted news? We do like to have some predictability. We need some of it to remain sane. However, we also like to be surprised from time to time. We like to feel the mystery of the unknown and have some unexpected (good) news knocking on our door.

The Need for Individuality and The Need for Connection

We want to feel and be seen as unique, special, or even one of a kind. We want to be acknowledged for our personal talents and our own character. We want our individual experiences to be validated. However, we also want to connect with others and be part of a group. We want to have a sense of belongingness and be part of the whole.

The Need for Growth and the Need for Grounding

We have a natural tendency to want to develop ourselves. Our human curiosity is present in us from a very early age. Just think about all those babies who look at the world for the first time. Their eyes screen reality with intense curiosity and admiration. As we grow up, such curiosity takes different shapes and forms, but it remains within us, making us expand in different areas of life. But while we may have the need to grow, expand and learn new things, we also have the need to ground ourselves, to have a reference and core sense of who we are. We like to have some inner experience which we can call “home” and come back to it whenever we need to.

Concluding Thoughts

All human beings have needs. Some needs seem to be universal, and there are needs that even seem to be conflicting with each other. Tony Robbins believes the 6 human needs above are the main human behavior drivers. It’s a simple approach to human needs yet it can be useful to help us think about what motivates us and what might be missing in our life.

Is Happiness a Realistic Goal?

realistic goal and a desirable one. It is rather impossible to be happy all the time, of course, and it is rather difficult to be in a pure state of bliss on a regular basis. However, we can aim to develop skills and strategies that enhance our level of consciousness.

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Is Happiness a Realistic Goal?

People have demoted me from the pursuit of happiness more times than I can count. They either say happiness is impossible to achieve, or they tell me I’m a hopeless fantasy seeker. At the end of the day, these are two different ways of saying exactly the same. Yet, if we believe each negative situation has a hidden positive intention, then I must say people demote fantasy seekers like me because they either don’t want us to get hurt, or they want to shake off their failed attempts at being happy.

We all wish for happiness and the world would be a better place if we were taught about it in school.

The funny thing is that people also disdain me when I’m unhappy, grumpy, or less energetic. This somehow proves that you will never be able to please Greeks and Trojans. So what shall you do? I think you should follow your heart and what you believe to be true, but if you worry whether happiness is a realistic goal or not I can assure you that it is not only realistic as well as possible and desirable. We all wish for happiness and the world would be a better place if we were taught about it in school.

If you look at Hawkins’ Scale of Consciousness, you will see that joy and happiness are closer to enlightenment than anger and shame. This scale was developed by David Hawkins thanks to a set of muscle testing and kinesiology measures. According to Hawkins, consciousness can be conceived as a multi-staged continuum of vibrational frequencies, with 1 being simply alive and 1000 an advanced state of enlightenment. As it’s only natural, our level of consciousness can fluctuate and change due to multiple variables: what we eat, who we hang out with, and how we think are only a few examples.

Learning about what makes you happy and including more of that in your life is something that is far from silly. It is mandatory if you want to raise your consciousness and help humanity evolve as a kinder species.

For those who are interested in raising their consciousness, happiness is a realistic goal and a desirable one. It is rather impossible to be happy all the time, of course, and it is rather difficult to be in a pure state of bliss on a regular basis. However, we can aim to develop skills and strategies that enhance our level of consciousness. For instance, Horror films used to be my favorite genre of movies but I can’t watch them anymore because I don’t like the way I feel and think afterward. I no longer listen to heavy metal as I used to for the same reason.

I also like to plan my day and activities to make sure I manage my energy to the best of my ability. This allows me to experience a greater level of consciousness throughout the day and be a better person for myself and others. I know this can be a different and odd way to approach self-organization and life in general but I learned the hard way what is best for me and how I can be the best version of myself on a more regular basis. As a Sensitive person, I can only handle a certain amount of stimulation before I get tired and drained so I take energy management very seriously.

The pursuit of happiness is part of my toolbox to cope and recover my energy level. I like to add to my days what makes me feel good, not from a pure hedonistic point of view, but from a soul level. The list includes daily walks, listening to motivational talks, enjoying my surroundings, paying attention to natural motifs, reading a useful book chapter, and having a peaceful moment with coffee in the morning. As such, learning about what makes you happy and including more of that in your life is something that is far from wrong or silly. It is mandatory if you want to raise your consciousness and help humanity evolve as a kinder species.

What Is Positive Psychology? The Science of Well-being

Positive Psychology is a field of study within Psychology that focuses and promotes well-being and happiness. One of its goals is to help people live and perform at their best by putting people’s strengths and virtues to work for themselves and their community. Although it’s a relatively recent field, Positive Psychology has embraced and researched topics that have been promoted through other psychology branches such as Humanistic and Transpersonal Psychology.

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What is Well-being? The 7 Circles of Well-being

From my point of view, approaching well-being from only a psychological point of view is somewhat limited. Our emotional, psychological, and social well-being play an important role in the maintenance of our psychological health but there are other equally important aspects. Physical well-being and spiritual well-being are two of them. I like to tap into Eastern Psychology because it identifies us as being made of energy (or light) and it describes a model of our human energy field based on seven different layers or bodies.

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The 4-Stage Psychological Response to Disaster

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A disaster is a calamitous event, especially one occurring suddenly and causing great loss of life, damage, or hardship. Can we prevent disasters? No, but we can prepare for them. Emergency disasters deal with survival, which is one of the primary needs of human beings. It includes the need for water, food, rest, clothing, shelter, and health. When preparing for eventual disasters, we can take care of at least four physical needs. These include protection, location, water, and food. Other factors can affect our chance of overcoming an emergency though. Our psychology is one of them.

Abraham Maslow established a difference between deficiency needs and growth needs. Deficiency needs include survival, safety, social, and psychological needs. Growth needs involve fulfilling your full potential as a person (self-actualization). Little harm may come if you don’t meet your growth needs in an emergency. Yet, if you don’t meet your deficiency needs, a lot of unpleasant results arise. Thus, it’s important we mentally train ourselves to respond in case of an emergency.

Colin Towell is the author of The Survival Handbook. He states we go through four different psychological moments in an emergency. These are pre-impact, impact, recoil, and post-trauma. Learning more about these moments can help us prepare and be better equipped. I will briefly describe each of these stages next.

Pre-Impact Period


In this stage, there is danger but some people may not recognize it while others can see it clearly. Those who can’t see danger exists are usually in denial. They refuse to accept the danger until it becomes too obvious to everyone and action is taken.

Impact Period


In this stage, people know there is a life-threatening situation. The majority feels frozen and unable to react rationally. Few people tend to express extreme behaviors (e.g. screaming, melt-downs). A minority usually remains calm and fully aware.

Recoil Period


In this stage, people begin to gradually return to their normal reasoning capacity. This is a period in which people become more aware and in greater control of their emotions.

Post-Trauma Period


This stage occurs when the Recoil Period is not successful. If people don’t get their reasoning and emotions in check, they may develop PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). This condition includes negative experiences such as guilt, depression, anxiety, aimlessness, and bereavement.


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books, crisis, disaster, disaster response, emergency, emotional wellbeing, post-traumatic stress, psychological cycle, psychology, survival, trauma, Wellbeing, psychological wellbeing practitioner, good health and wellbeing, mywellbeing, wellbeing Wednesday, holistic wellbeing, personal well being, wellbeing coaching, wellness coach, health and wellness coach, health wellness coach, life and wellness coach, wellbeing coach near me, wellbeing life coach, health and wellness life coach, holistic wellbeing coach, coaching health and wellness, find a health and wellness coach, corporate wellbeing coach, school of wellbeing, wellbeing school, digital wellbeing school, digital school of wellbeing, wellbeing online, mental wellbeing, emotional wellbeing, emotional wellness, psychological well being, social wellness, mental wellness coach, emotional wellness coach, emotional wellbeing coach, mental health wellness coach, school of wellbeing, wellbeing school, digital school of wellbeing, digital wellbeing school

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