I recently started a new series here at thewellbeingblogger.com called “Questions to Fall in Love”. This series was inspired on the blog Stories of a Colorful Life and on an experimental Psychology study in which strangers were asked to answer a set of 36 questions. You can know more about this study here. I have been sharing these questions on my instagram as well, so if you do have an account, make sure you visit me there too (@thewellbeingblogger).Continue reading “Rehearse, or Not Rehearse | Questions to Fall in Love | Q3”
I recently started a new series at The Wellbeing Blogger, in which I will answer and reflect upon 36 different questions. These questions were used in a Psychology study to promote closeness between strangers and, since I’m often a stranger to myself, I decided it would be a good idea to follow Stephan’s steps and surprise myself with what comes out of my fingertips.
The second question on the set to fall in love is the following:
Would You Like To Be Famous? In What Way?Continue reading “Would You Like To Be Famous? | Questions to Fall in Love | Q2”
As I begin to type these first few words, not knowing exactly how this post is going to flow, I can’t stop laughing in my head. Before I tell you why, let me explain though what are these “Questions to Fall in Love” all about.Continue reading “A Very Special Dinner Guest | Questions to Fall in Love | Q1”
Hello beautiful ones,
I would like to sincerely thank all of you who have subscribed and followed this blog so far. A special thanks as well to everyone who has visited and shared their magical wisdom through insightful and truthful comments. I’m always learning with you, all the way up.
I started out blogging here in the earliest months of 2017, right after a big “dark night of the soul”. My aim at that time was to rekindle my passion for blogging, connect with other fellow human beings, just like yourself, and to express my views on what does it really mean to be a human. If you follow my posts, you probably know that I share the bad, the good, and the ugly of such experience, because I think that’s the only way to integrate ourselves.
I now realise that this blog is not only a platform in which I write up some thoughts and feelings, but is also a mirror of who I am. This blog has been literally my “buddy”, and I’m even tearful as I write these words – what can I do, I already confessed myself as a highly sensitive person here, didn’t I? *haha*.
This buddy of mine has also documented my growth and changes through a period of my life that is now coming to an end. This was a period of incredible ups and downs. I moved to a foreign country, I saw myself alone, and I sat on the floor crying asking for God’s help more than I can remember. And God always came to me, through mysterious ways, believe it or not.
All this to say that I feel humble for hitting today the 300 readers mark on WordPress and even more humble to see that I have also hit the mark of my first 10 YouTube subscribers. Some people will laugh of these numbers, and that’s ok; other people will celebrate with me, because as small as it may seem, it means a lot to me.
When I first started writing here I was craving authentic human connections. As I kept writing I established, however, the most authentic human connection I can ever possibly have: the connection with myself. This connection has been the key to then understand a lot of the things I was doing wrong, or not doing at all, regarding those authentic connections which I was desperately seeking.
My path wouldn’t be the same, nonetheless, if there wasn’t an audience. Contrary to what many people may think, we as human beings naturally crave connection to others because it is through such connection that we understand the world and ourselves at a deeper level. Hence, thank you for showing up. A simple comment, a heartfelt feedback, a word of motivation is what we all need and I have certainly benefited from this here.
Thank you. You have enormously contributed to my wellbeing.
In this blog post I will share with you 7 common traits among highly sensitive people.
Today I came home earlier to run away (again) from dealing with an energy that I can only tolerate for a short while at the moment. This energy is a mix of anger, frustration, and an achy sense that I’m still the odd one out at the age of 29.
I reached out a friend when I arrived home and asked her “Why can’t we be like everyone else?”. There are these moments in which the blessing of sensitivity transforms itself into a really ugly and bad curse. Then all I know is that being a highly sensitive person (HSP) is too hard, too much, and too painful.
Being highly sensitive, we know what people feel, think, and intend without even knowing them. We can feel what others are going through, even if they are standing on the other side of the road and separated from us by a high fence. This happened to me last Saturday: I went to my office so I could record some YouTube videos. As usual, the building was empty. I suddenly started to feel very anxious for no reason. I realised then that the campus was getting crowded, full of students and families. Freshers were settling in and I could sense the anxiety and fear of students and their families. That’s why I was feeling overly anxious too.
The feeling got so intense that I could not record or do any work here on my blog. I packed my stuff, took a foot path to come back home, and spent a few hours working on my energy field until I felt like I was back to “normal”. This is why sometimes the blessing instantly becomes a curse. As you may guess this way of functioning can be very debilitating sometimes. We become overwhelmed and distressed not necessarily because something happens to us, but because it is our very own nature to be in tune with what and who is around us.
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I believe HSPs come to this “overwhelming stage” every once in a while because no one taught us how to manage our energy field. I still don’t know how to handle it sometimes and when that happens I think we feel really isolated, because the majority of people do not understand the way we perceive and sense reality, and therefore can not provide us with the right support.
For all this, I thought it would be helpful for me and others to write a little bit more about the traits of HSPs and explain them the best I can. If our differences make us feel weird, we might as well use them to empower us, so here are what I believe to be the seven most important traits of highly sensitive people.
1. We Are Aware of the Invisible
My favourite book, “The Little Prince”, has a passage which says “what is essential is invisible to the eye” and HSPs feel this to be very true. We can tell whenever there is something going wrong with someone because somehow we assimilate, even though unconsciously, certain signs and details that give us a lot of information about others.
2. We Can Read People
We can indeed read people because of what I explained in the previous point – the fact that we are aware of subtle forms of expression allows us to know what other people feel and even think. I believe this has simply to do with our awareness and I also think that anyone can become highly sensitive as long as there is some kind of training of one’s own level of awareness. That’s why people who start meditating or doing yoga often find themselves more sensitive and aware after some practise.
3. We Are Affected by Other People’s Mood
The fact that we have access to subtler forms of information makes us very sensitive to other people’s states and moods. More often than not we do not control this and I believe that the more we, as a society, learn and accept the way HSPs function, the more we can advance in terms of understanding and finding effective ways to use this ability on demand.
4. We Spend a Lot of Time in Our Heads
Most of us are born-observers and we use or learn to use telepathy a lot. There is a giant, complex and unique world inside each HSPs’ head and that’s why we get lost so often. If there is too much stimulation, we also struggle to stop our thoughts and “hypothesis” test in our minds. This is when we need to get out of our mind and get into our body.
5. Loud Noises, Strong Smells and Tastes are a Big No
I was never able to deal with perfumes, something that most women adore. I also always run away from drugstores and any supermarket’s detergent section. Abrupt noises also annoy me a lot and make my ears and head hurt. I think I’m not so affected by strong tastes, but that’s probably because I use food all the time. I’m very sensitive nonetheless to spices and I can have a hard time with even “mild” flavours.
6. The Experience of Being Hungry and Uncomfortable is Magnified
This is so true… the only time that either being hungry or uncomfortable do not bother me much is when I’m doing something I love such as writing this blog post. Right now, I’m hungry, but my wish to write is bigger than the discomfort of starvation. In most cases, however, whenever I’m hungry or uncomfortable I don’t seem to be able to tolerate it. If the problem is being hungry, I easily become “angry”. If the problem is being uncomfortable, the experience in itself becomes very painful and more often than not bruises or aches do follow it.
7. We Feel a Deep Urge For Being Creative
Our thoughts and feelings run so wildly that using creativity is often our favourite way to manage or balance our energy. From creative writing to painting, dancing, or any other form of creative expression, we do enjoy the feeling of expansion that such activities provide us. It is also a way for us to get “out” of our head and be more in our body.
Brace yourselves, this is one of those personal posts! 🙂
A month ago I wrote this post about “How to Put Your Life Together” and I just wanted to share what has changed or how far have I reached. At that time, my list of 12 things that needed to change contained the following items:
- Move house
- Change job
- Complete PhD thesis
- Buy a gym membership
- Book a massage
- Get a proper bike
- Invite JJ, W. and wife to have dinner in the new house
Build-up a nice romantic relationship(forget this item!)
- Revamp my blog
- Work on my social business plan
- Create a saving account
- Visit family on a weekend asap
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And a month later, this is how my list looks like at the moment:
Move house: I’m not moving to a caravan anymore, I rented a room in a big house, with a very nice garden, really close to the university. I will be able to save on transportation and I will have enough space to breathe, do yoga… Plus, my landlady seems to be a super sweet person! I’m moving this Saturday. Change job: I will probably write some posts in the future about my adventures on finding a job, but at the moment is suffice to say that I decided that I won’t keep waiting to create my own job occupation and I decided to embrace my creative side and use it for the greater good. I will tell you more about this later on!
- Complete PhD thesis: What can I say about this? I’m doing my best everyday not to hate this thesis a little bit more.
Buy a gym membership:I decided the gym wasn’t for me after all. I will write a post later too about my first attempt at the gym. It was fun… but the benefits weren’t enough to convince me that it was the right thing for me. Book a massage:I haven’t done this at all! Get a proper bike:I will wait a bit more on this, because I will probably move away from England as soon as I submit my thesis. Invite JJ, W. and wife to have dinner in the new house:things have definitely changed and I am not going to do this any more. Shit happens, it’s all I can say. Build-up a nice romantic relationship(forget this item!): Yes, I am definitely not looking for this and I’m happy I don’t think about this half of the time I used to. Revamp my blog:Yes, yes, yes! I have done some changes lately, hope you like the way it looks like now. I might ask my brother for help in the future to work in the customization.
- Work on my social business plan: Oh well, I have a couple of ideas but I haven’t spent time on this. However, this is linked to my item #2 and my Social Entrepreneurship training at the University of Oxford starts in September, so I’m feeling hopeful and positive about it.
Create a saving account:Well, considering I will soon be gone, there is no point of creating a saving account here in England. I will wait to see how things will go, but I am pretty sure I won’t be here by the time next Summer starts. Visit family on a weekend asap:I’m planning to do this in October!
Some priorities have changed, others are completely gone of my life’s map. I guess that’s perfectly fine, even though it is now making me think that perhaps I haven’t been too sure about staying in England or sailing away. To be completely honest, I don’t want to stay and I don’t have good reasons to do so. On the other hand, the idea of going back to Lisboa does not convince me 100%. I would like to have it as my safe place but travel a bit around Europe, teaching here and there. Let’s see what the future has for me.
In this blog post you will learn about three important steps to make your meditation at home work for you.
Meditation can help us embrace our worries, our fear, our anger; and that is very healing. We let our own natural capacity of healing do the work.
Thich Nhat Hanh
From time to time I get some messages in my inbox about practising meditation and the first steps to integrate meditation as a daily habit. Most of the messages I get are from people who are not sure about whether they are doing the “right” or “wrong” thing so, with that in mind, I recently recorded two Youtube videos in order to provide (hopefully) some answers:Continue reading “3 Important Steps When Meditating at Home”