I know what you are thinking. I already have the answers within me. I'm fighting them really hard due to my own pride and fear. I'm battling with my own brain and heart. I'm trying to erase flashbacks and I'm telling myself to hold on strongly to the "right path", the path of loving those who love you and not looking for those who don't. This reminds me somehow of Conan Osiris' Eurovision 2019 song. I sent the arrow. I broke the phone. And yet there is longing beyond logic. It didn't die, it keeps mysteriously alive. Perhaps it's not the longing for someone who is gone but rather the longing for something I knew to be close to my beloved.