Mine is Emily Merrill's debut novel, recently published by Salad Pages. Emily wrote it when she was 18 years old and now, at age 21, she saw her dream of being a published author come true - and what an incredible way to kick start a writing career! Mine is a novel that raises awareness of how 'perfect relationships' may hide the darkest truths and realities. In this two-part blog post, I will first share with you my honest review of the book and then an exclusive interview with the inspiring young author, Emily Merrill.
In the space of 3+ years, I didn't visit London that often to be honest. When I did go to London, however, it was probably to meet someone for a date. What? I might be single for 5 years now, but I had my good share of dates. Too many, if you ask me, but I have been looking for The One, you know? *laughs* Anyway, I thought it would be fun to share with you my three favourite date spots in London. Let me know what you think about them and, please, do share your own favourite spots to date in London.
My mind already knows that but my heart misses the comfort and the intimacy of being on a relatively balanced relationship. Worse, it misses that person who is not going to complete me but who is going to be there to be my partner in crime. Someone whose presence and silence are enough to soothe my spirit. I crave that kind of connection and reality. And when I think that five years have past since my last glimpse of that, I do wonder if I will ever be allowed to share those feelings again. Right, I forgot this time of the year is our break-up anniversary. Maybe that's why I dreamt about him last week and why I have been avoiding to write all-along. Maybe tomorrow I will be just back to normal.
I have to say that Positive Male Mind offers us not only a straightforward approach and language, making complex information easy to process, but it adds on by giving us a unique and more detailed perspective over mental health issues among men, and on how to better support this group. While reading it, I thought many times how great it would be if we could provide Positive Male Mind in every clinic waiting room and library, because talking about men’s mental health remains a difficult task for both men and the wider community.
The workbook I had built gave me the structure, while the desire of being truly happy with myself gave me the motivation I needed to be disciplined. It's an everyday job, I can't lie, and it was hard work to sit down and face my own demons. It still is whenever I have to overcome an old or new false belief. I'm thankful, however, for the fact that I changed my mindset on the moment I decided to start living instead of simply letting the days go by. That decision is what allowed me to feel how I feel today about my life and the future.
Sometimes I still fail to listen to my inner guidance as well; I'm far from perfect. However, holding the intention to learn, and become more and more aware of that inner voice that keeps telling me what's going on and respond to it, rather than react, have been life saving.
The Strengths Workbook, written by Sally Bibb, is a fully packed and very practical book that I truly recommend to anyone who wants to learn more about their strengths, motivations, and values, because learning about why we feel so good when we engage in specific tasks or activities, and how we can create more of that in our daily routine can do wonders for our wellbeing.
I usually turn to song writing when I sense there are emotions that need to come out. It is a gut feeling. It’s paying attention to how I’m feeling. Most of the times, I cannot name these emotions precisely, but I know they are there. Other times, there’s a particular trigger or subject that I know is affecting me and I go deeper to try to understand it better, and again, let it come out. For the specific case of Rain of May, I wrote it at a particular time, when I decided to leave Buenos Aires and find a new home in Copenhagen. I was a turmoil of emotions: it was a very happy decision but at the same time I was confronted with having to deal with some kind of loss, if you will. Having to say goodbye to people and places, and a chapter of my life.
These may seem silly examples or superficial details but in my experience they can speak loudly of how the other person will treat you in the future. They show the extent to which someone actively listens and pays attention to what you have to say. The major problem is that, more often than not, we fall for the narcissist's initial charm and we fail to see the obvious signs. We let ourselves be driven by their apparent good deeds and inspiring conversations. Although we may feel that something is off, we never second guess their real intentions. Knowing a few signs or red flags beforehand can prevent us, however, from getting involved with someone that seems great for us at first sight but who will eventually become our worst nightmare. I'm sharing three of these signs below.
I would like to say this was one of those books that I absolutely devoured as soon as I could because it has a refreshing approach and a language that is clear and yet thought-provocative. Positive Thinking makes the topic easy to grasp and understand. It's also a book that will inspire you to think and take action in a way that is down-to-earth, without losing sights of your creative and intuitive self.
It's not a guy's fault that we ignore the redflags. We play a part in this dynamic and we are equally responsible for depositing hope on someone whose heart is actually full of pain, confusion and misunderstanding. Our hearts are often filled with the same energy and that's why we attract such type. Like many of us, it's not their fault either that they were brought up in a messy and painful home environment. The worst part is, nonetheless, our tendency to project on them what we really want to see in a partner and what we try to nurture within ourselves: compassion, empathy, sensitivity, self-awareness, kindness, understanding.
My journey towards self-love has been made of trial and error and, although I always hate to face a setback, today I'm thankful to each one of them, because they brought me not the lessons that I wanted but the ones I needed to evolve and embrace a higher understanding of what self-love is. Today I know that self-love includes owning, honouring and loving the body I have, and more specifically the body parts I used to hate: arms, chest, hips and legs. It's about being proud of them as they are instead of wishing they were different.
I still do long for that beautiful and blissful place inside people's hearts which can only be awakened by pure magic and free-thought. That's what make me tick! I dream with heart-warming nights and long-lasting hugs. I crave a love deeper and bigger than me... and I'm not going to give up until I find it, because that's what gives my life a purpose.
The structure, its straightforward language and the very useful content of Positive Mental Health allow me to confidently say that this effectively is one of those books that not only informs, but also educates and guides people’s towards better mental health and wellbeing by providing both accurate health-related information and practical suggestions on how to eat well, exercise regularly, improve social interactions and other equally important wellbeing aspects throughout different areas and life events.
A piece I wrote on April 4th 2015 to my future child, inspired on a dream I had.
In this blog post I bring you three of my favourite psychological measures for personal development. My point here is to share three tools which I find particularly interesting as they have always offered me much food for thought. I hope they can offer you a similar experience and that you can gather more information about yourself.
Having a job and a place I need to go to every week day has made wonders for my wellbeing. Also, now that I have freedom to just be myself at work, I'm happy. I'm genuinely happy about it. I don't have to put a mask everyday and pretend I'm not struggling. I don't feel I have to act like a smartass in order to survive on a day to day basis. This is a must when you're an empath or a highly sensitive person, since faking is very energy depleting. There are, however, a few other wellbeing tips I would like to share with you in this post, especially if you're teaching or an educator and you know to be highly sensitive.
When I jumped into the shower this Monday, this title came to my head. Eleven reasons why I might not succeed (in life) and eleven reasons I will. I thought this was a good opportunity to talk about resilience and positivity, because everyone's daily life is made of ups and downs - the magic happens when we know what's the best way to deal with it all. Although Positivity alone doesn't solve anything, retrieving lessons from the less positive aspects of our life is a wellbeing protective measure. So let's dive in, first into the reasons why I might not succeed and then into the eleven reasons I will.
I strongly recommend that you seek help to bring the possible closure to your story. When we go through such traumatic events, it's almost humanly impossible to deal with it by ourselves. I recently also found out about the work conducted by CICA UK, a governmental organisation which claims compensation on behalf of victims of crime (e.g. child abuse, domestic violence) with a "no win no fee", meaning that if you are unsuccessful in your application, you won't be charged. I know money can't buy or restore our wellbeing, but the sense that justice has been made through a cica claim can bring you the sense that you were heard and that what happened to you shouldn't have happened.
I have to say we need to be prepared for the uncomfortable feelings that come from realising that not all father figures are healthy and that, although painful, the inner work needs to be done, if we don't to keep feeding the generational trauma we were brought in. We must realise we can break the pattern as long as we become aware of how it has been played and perpetuated. For instances, I can't expect my father to change and become a healthy source of protection and security. I never felt safe around him as a child because no matter how well I behaved there was always something to be yelled at. I always ended up crying because I could feel the anger and the injustice of being treated like an underdog.
Can you imagine if those prayers had been answered? This is the question I asked myself today and I would like to invite you to use it to think about yourself and your life in general. I am more than sure that life wouldn't have been better if all my prayers had been answered like I thought I wanted. Most of the time, we think we know what is best for us, but more often than not we end up finding out that we didn't know anything. I became a big believer of the idea that the universe always knows what is best for us, even when we lash out and rebel against what it is given to us.
Purpose is one the major driving forces of humankind: it colours our psychology and it gives us a sense that life is meaningful. However, many of us feel frustrated, lost and confused when it comes down to identifying our Life Purpose. That’s why I created the Life Purpose Course + Coaching, a digital training and coaching program open to people from all over the world.
They are researchers, scholars, entertainers, political figures, writers and activists. One of them was a princess and another is currently running for president of the United States. I think all these women have one thing in common - they are strong and yet highly sensitive. They have challenged the status quo and they have given me strength to be myself. They taught me that there is nothing wrong with being sensitive and yet powerful at the same time.
Some people say we shouldn't have high expectations, so that we don't end up disappointed and sad with people. I don't agree with that though. We need standards and we need to raise the bar if we want to lead a life in which we keep learning and developing as human beings. I think we must have high expectations and filter people based on the contrast between those expectations and what happens, because otherwise we will allow and tolerate people whose behaviours only show self-interest. Think about domestic violence - would you really say that it is a partner's job to be quiet and be hit every single day? Of course not! So why should we be quiet and be hit by someone's rubbish bag, full of projections and judgment?
The million dollar question is, however, how do we shift our energy; how do we move from the unconscious victimhood to the empowered attitude of being the creator of our own life? To achieve such state of consciousness, there are at least three essential aspects we need to train and develop in ourselves - attention, awareness, and intention.
The chakras in our feet work in combination with our root chakra (see this post for a brief overview of our seven main chakras) and other minor chakras located in our legs. When these chakras are functioning harmoniously, there is a constant flow of communication and connection with the energy grids of the earth and of all our other chakras. Hence, the health of our foot chakras is directly linked to our ability to become grounded in our physical body.
I don't mind talking to people at all, in fact, I love listening to people. I struggle a lot, however, when I meet energy vampires. Since I can rarely find a way to excuse myself, I feel morally obligated to give every ounce of my attention to the person who is in front of me talking non-stop about themselves and their life problems. I often think they probably don't have many people who will effectively listen to them, so for many years I thought I had to fill in that role for them. It's a rookie mistake, let me tell you beforehand, because the vampire will never walk out from a conversation fully satisfied and you will literally, more often than not, feel like poo.
The best way I found to look after my feet is by incorporating foot-care in my bedtime routine. Every night, I clean and dry my feet thoroughly and then I either use Dr Anders's spray to give myself a foot massage or I use the intensive rescue balm. This allows me not only to relax even more before bedtime but also to protect my feet and to make sure I keep them in good condition for the following day.
We as women may have fully control of what, when and how we do whatever we do with our body, but we also need to be aware of the emotional and psychological consequences of our actions and decisions. You may be lucky and sleep with the right guy on the very first date, but chances are you will sleep with the wrong guy, because the right guy has a higher conscious of what a healthy interaction looks like and he wouldn't be that fast-forward. We need to understand that when we get involved and invested into someone, we exchange energy. We have several layers of energy and sexual energy, if not exchanged consciously, can be extremely abrasive and damage the healthy grow of a beautiful relationship between two human beings.
Codependents often come from dysfunctional families. This doesn't mean they have been physically abused or verbally assaulted. It can simply mean they never really received or learned a healthy way to feel and seek support. In other words, they didn't have parental figures who could show them how to manage their emotions and thoughts. Hence, they stay in bad situations, because they can't perceive an alternative way of giving and receiving love and affection. They learned early on that love was meant to be painful, that love meant they had to be and do everything their mom or daddy subjectively required from them. They grew up without a backbone, the confidence and the certainty that relationships are meant to be healthy and that love doesn't equate inhuman sacrifice.
Whether you know it or not, your life experiences are predominantly physical and mental in nature. This is true for almost 95% of the world's population. The remaining 5% are on another level altogether. Think of these as sages, mystics, and self realized beings. How can one move from the 95% to the 5%? Obviously, some action is required in order for this to happen. Each of the tips listed below will focus on a specific action you must take. Repeat the action on a consistent basis, and the difference will be there for you to see!
I finished my first PhD year knackered. I was exhausted and feeling noxious about the school. I started to realise that I was in the middle of people who endured political games and hidden agendas. The quality of teaching was perceived as secondary and the most important seemed to be the numbers. The number of incoming students, the number of published papers, the number of satisfied undergraduates, the number of grants received, and the number of controlled costs. Kindness, positivity, nurturance, team effort, inspiration, motivation and wellbeing were not that important. From then on, I always lived conflicted and misaligned between what I perceived to be my organisational environment and what my values and expectations were. After my first year, I only spiralled downward and I reached a point of almost no return.
Creative dreamers are not usually thoughtful planners. We thrive on ideas, excitement and passion... We see the big picture but, more often than not, we miss the little details and the small, required steps to reach the destination we envision. However, planning precedes deliberative action and needless to say that if you are trying to develop a project or launching a business idea, planning is key to accomplish your goal. I will risk to say that if you don't plan, you will hardly be successful at all.
Whatever we resist, grows bigger; and the bigger it grows, the more harmful it gets. Today I'm happy I faced my fear and anxiety. I'm grateful that I saw how I have been the one blocking my own way towards peace. By avoiding the past, I also missed out on opportunities to talk to lovely people. I would have never known how people were fond of me then and how I didn't go unnoticed. In truth, I wouldn't have felt a little happier today if I hadn't faced my fear of embracing the past.
I was nominated by Sunny and Jasmine for this challenge inspired on a Vogue Magazine Series which interviews celebrities and other public figures. The questions are somehow designed to let people know a bit more about your likes and lifestyle, so I thought it was another good way to let you know a bit more about me. Since I don't like long posts, I broke this one into pages - you can find my list of nominees in the last page.
Our mind is very much affected by cyclic patterns of rest and activity that also regulate our organs and cells. These cyclic patterns are not only influenced by our surrounding environment but also by nature's own clock: circadian rhythms are an example of that. The more we attune ourselves to our natural rhythms, the healthier we will be. The problem today is that we are very disconnected and mostly unaware of what such cycles entail. Hence, it's paramount that you regulate your sleep according to your natural human being rules. Here are three tips to make sleep work out for you.
It’s not always easy to change our ways, especially with plastic usage being so wide-spread it seems unavoidable. One may get overwhelmed because the attempts to reduce our carbon footprint seem so small compared to the scale of the problem. When you feel that way, remember that imperfect efforts beats no effort any day. In this post, I’ll remind you about 6 effortless ways we can reduce our carbon footprint. This way, we have no excuse not to do something. The best part is, you get to save money too!
This is the written introduction of a guided meditation called Peaceful Warrior. You can listen to it for free, if you install the app InsightTimer on your mobile phone. You will also find a direct link to this meditation at the end of this post. Please note that the text was written using he as a common way to address this kind of energy. It wasn't my intention to contribute to any gender bias as I believe men and women both have masculine and feminine energy within them.
A woman wearing a 15th century dress, a man emphasising his hypnotic eyes, and another gentle soul posing in a very exotic way. What do they all have in common? They identify themselves or work as a psychic. I can't say whether they are psychic or not, but I can say they did put me off, and they do make me feel a bit frustrated about how stereotypes around psychism have contributed to the mass denial of the existence of human abilities that go beyond our old-fashioned paradigms.
If you pick up and take on other people's emotions, if you feel you easily become overwhelmed among crowds or loud places, if you automatically sense the vibe of a person or a place, if human, animal or even the planet's suffering concerns you deeply, if you put other living beings first, if people usually turn to you because somehow you offer them comfort... know that there is nothing wrong with you. Some of us develop and expand their sensitivity beyond human reasoning.
Having a thing for learning made me study and invest in several training opportunities (and books). I can say I'm lucky for having the opportunity to practise both coaching and therapy as I know many people have one or both as their career or educational goals. In this blog post I will try to explain whether there are differences between these two modalities and, if so, which one is better.
Balloon release and sky lanterns are a familiar site at festivals, weddings, and memorials. But what goes up, must come down. After guests disperse and other decorations have been packed away, the balloons and lantern frames that created a few moments of happiness can litter the surrounding area for years and even decades. Balloons, sky lanterns, and plastic confetti are never biodegradable. They break into smaller and smaller pieces until they turn into microplastics, which are consumed by fish, birds, turtles and other wildlife. Here are a few of our favorite ways to celebrate that won’t endanger animals or local communities.
So yes, I think the change has already started and my goal for this post was to document the passage, to make it official. Perhaps a confirmation for myself that, despite these first six crazy months of 2019, I can't say that I screwed up or that everything is lost. The pain and the scary moments were necessary for me to learn how to connect with myself, make peace with my sensitivity, overcome my codependency tendencies, and keep the ball rolling. I can't say I'm happy. I can't say I'm sad either. I can say however that I'm ok. I'm showing myself more love and kindness, I'm slowly releasing shame and guilt, and I'm also becoming more patient and less impulsive. There are a lot of things I still don't understand or which don't make sense to me now, but I'm learning to trust the process. I did a quantum jump and for the first time I'm telling myself that it is ok to feel joy about it.
Most of our goals and dreams are, nonetheless, out of what is well-known to us. That's another reason why a mid-year review is extremely useful. More than a confrontation with reality, a mid-year review provides you a platform in which you can manage the known and the unknown. It's important to establish where you are at right now, where you would like to be in the future, and what needs to be worked out in between. So do grab your list of goals and future achievements. Have a nonjudgemental look at it and follow the "Four Rs Process" described below.
Don't give yourself on a plate. Don't sell yourself for nickels and dimes. Don't carry a discount tag around your neck and don't let anyone define your place. You are worth more than what God has ever created because, no matter what body you were given, you are life and life-nurturing. You are the magical side of humanity and you have the power to free us from our emotionless prison.
Whether you have been diagnosed with hypothyroidism or not, I totally swear by the power of these three spices that I'm bringing you here today. If you feel sluggish, tired, or even drained on a constant daily basis, I strongly recommend that you keep reading this blog post and give my suggestion a try. Why? Besides the 5 lifestyle changes I have committed myself to, in order to overcome burnout and empath overload, incorporating these three specific spices in my meal plan has had a huge impact on my overall energy levels.
The Life Path number is just one of the different aspects of numerology that I stumbled upon and which I bring now to you in this blog post. It is said to be the most important number in a numerology chart as it describes the nature of someone's life journey and the core of his or her personality. Please, let me know what's your Life Path number in the comments section - I would also love to know what do you think about numerology as a way to learn more about ourselves.
So I did a quick search, because there is no need to reinvent the wheel, and I found a couple of habits that are said to be part of the routine of multiple entrepreneurs. I think the most important thing about these habits is not exactly what you will get from them individually but the transformative energy you will generate while pursuing them.