I have to say we need to be prepared for the uncomfortable feelings that come from realising that not all father figures are healthy and that, although painful, the inner work needs to be done, if we don't to keep feeding the generational trauma we were brought in. We must realise we can break the pattern as long as we become aware of how it has been played and perpetuated. For instances, I can't expect my father to change and become a healthy source of protection and security. I never felt safe around him as a child because no matter how well I behaved there was always something to be yelled at. I always ended up crying because I could feel the anger and the injustice of being treated like an underdog.
Can you imagine if those prayers had been answered? This is the question I asked myself today and I would like to invite you to use it to think about yourself and your life in general. I am more than sure that life wouldn't have been better if all my prayers had been answered like I thought I wanted. Most of the time, we think we know what is best for us, but more often than not we end up finding out that we didn't know anything. I became a big believer of the idea that the universe always knows what is best for us, even when we lash out and rebel against what it is given to us.
Purpose is one the major driving forces of humankind: it colours our psychology and it gives us a sense that life is meaningful. However, many of us feel frustrated, lost and confused when it comes down to identifying our Life Purpose. That’s why I created the Life Purpose Course + Coaching, a digital training and coaching program open to people from all over the world.
They are researchers, scholars, entertainers, political figures, writers and activists. One of them was a princess and another is currently running for president of the United States. I think all these women have one thing in common - they are strong and yet highly sensitive. They have challenged the status quo and they have given me strength to be myself. They taught me that there is nothing wrong with being sensitive and yet powerful at the same time.
Some people say we shouldn't have high expectations, so that we don't end up disappointed and sad with people. I don't agree with that though. We need standards and we need to raise the bar if we want to lead a life in which we keep learning and developing as human beings. I think we must have high expectations and filter people based on the contrast between those expectations and what happens, because otherwise we will allow and tolerate people whose behaviours only show self-interest. Think about domestic violence - would you really say that it is a partner's job to be quiet and be hit every single day? Of course not! So why should we be quiet and be hit by someone's rubbish bag, full of projections and judgment?
The million dollar question is, however, how do we shift our energy; how do we move from the unconscious victimhood to the empowered attitude of being the creator of our own life? To achieve such state of consciousness, there are at least three essential aspects we need to train and develop in ourselves - attention, awareness, and intention.
The chakras in our feet work in combination with our root chakra (see this post for a brief overview of our seven main chakras) and other minor chakras located in our legs. When these chakras are functioning harmoniously, there is a constant flow of communication and connection with the energy grids of the earth and of all our other chakras. Hence, the health of our foot chakras is directly linked to our ability to become grounded in our physical body.
I don't mind talking to people at all, in fact, I love listening to people. I struggle a lot, however, when I meet energy vampires. Since I can rarely find a way to excuse myself, I feel morally obligated to give every ounce of my attention to the person who is in front of me talking non-stop about themselves and their life problems. I often think they probably don't have many people who will effectively listen to them, so for many years I thought I had to fill in that role for them. It's a rookie mistake, let me tell you beforehand, because the vampire will never walk out from a conversation fully satisfied and you will literally, more often than not, feel like poo.
The best way I found to look after my feet is by incorporating foot-care in my bedtime routine. Every night, I clean and dry my feet thoroughly and then I either use Dr Anders's spray to give myself a foot massage or I use the intensive rescue balm. This allows me not only to relax even more before bedtime but also to protect my feet and to make sure I keep them in good condition for the following day.
We as women may have fully control of what, when and how we do whatever we do with our body, but we also need to be aware of the emotional and psychological consequences of our actions and decisions. You may be lucky and sleep with the right guy on the very first date, but chances are you will sleep with the wrong guy, because the right guy has a higher conscious of what a healthy interaction looks like and he wouldn't be that fast-forward. We need to understand that when we get involved and invested into someone, we exchange energy. We have several layers of energy and sexual energy, if not exchanged consciously, can be extremely abrasive and damage the healthy grow of a beautiful relationship between two human beings.
Codependents often come from dysfunctional families. This doesn't mean they have been physically abused or verbally assaulted. It can simply mean they never really received or learned a healthy way to feel and seek support. In other words, they didn't have parental figures who could show them how to manage their emotions and thoughts. Hence, they stay in bad situations, because they can't perceive an alternative way of giving and receiving love and affection. They learned early on that love was meant to be painful, that love meant they had to be and do everything their mom or daddy subjectively required from them. They grew up without a backbone, the confidence and the certainty that relationships are meant to be healthy and that love doesn't equate inhuman sacrifice.
Whether you know it or not, your life experiences are predominantly physical and mental in nature. This is true for almost 95% of the world's population. The remaining 5% are on another level altogether. Think of these as sages, mystics, and self realized beings. How can one move from the 95% to the 5%? Obviously, some action is required in order for this to happen. Each of the tips listed below will focus on a specific action you must take. Repeat the action on a consistent basis, and the difference will be there for you to see!
I finished my first PhD year knackered. I was exhausted and feeling noxious about the school. I started to realise that I was in the middle of people who endured political games and hidden agendas. The quality of teaching was perceived as secondary and the most important seemed to be the numbers. The number of incoming students, the number of published papers, the number of satisfied undergraduates, the number of grants received, and the number of controlled costs. Kindness, positivity, nurturance, team effort, inspiration, motivation and wellbeing were not that important. From then on, I always lived conflicted and misaligned between what I perceived to be my organisational environment and what my values and expectations were. After my first year, I only spiralled downward and I reached a point of almost no return.
Creative dreamers are not usually thoughtful planners. We thrive on ideas, excitement and passion... We see the big picture but, more often than not, we miss the little details and the small, required steps to reach the destination we envision. However, planning precedes deliberative action and needless to say that if you are trying to develop a project or launching a business idea, planning is key to accomplish your goal. I will risk to say that if you don't plan, you will hardly be successful at all.
Whatever we resist, grows bigger; and the bigger it grows, the more harmful it gets. Today I'm happy I faced my fear and anxiety. I'm grateful that I saw how I have been the one blocking my own way towards peace. By avoiding the past, I also missed out on opportunities to talk to lovely people. I would have never known how people were fond of me then and how I didn't go unnoticed. In truth, I wouldn't have felt a little happier today if I hadn't faced my fear of embracing the past.
I was nominated by Sunny and Jasmine for this challenge inspired on a Vogue Magazine Series which interviews celebrities and other public figures. The questions are somehow designed to let people know a bit more about your likes and lifestyle, so I thought it was another good way to let you know a bit more about me. Since I don't like long posts, I broke this one into pages - you can find my list of nominees in the last page.
Our mind is very much affected by cyclic patterns of rest and activity that also regulate our organs and cells. These cyclic patterns are not only influenced by our surrounding environment but also by nature's own clock: circadian rhythms are an example of that. The more we attune ourselves to our natural rhythms, the healthier we will be. The problem today is that we are very disconnected and mostly unaware of what such cycles entail. Hence, it's paramount that you regulate your sleep according to your natural human being rules. Here are three tips to make sleep work out for you.
It’s not always easy to change our ways, especially with plastic usage being so wide-spread it seems unavoidable. One may get overwhelmed because the attempts to reduce our carbon footprint seem so small compared to the scale of the problem. When you feel that way, remember that imperfect efforts beats no effort any day. In this post, I’ll remind you about 6 effortless ways we can reduce our carbon footprint. This way, we have no excuse not to do something. The best part is, you get to save money too!
This is the written introduction of a guided meditation called Peaceful Warrior. You can listen to it for free, if you install the app InsightTimer on your mobile phone. You will also find a direct link to this meditation at the end of this post. Please note that the text was written using he as a common way to address this kind of energy. It wasn't my intention to contribute to any gender bias as I believe men and women both have masculine and feminine energy within them.
A woman wearing a 15th century dress, a man emphasising his hypnotic eyes, and another gentle soul posing in a very exotic way. What do they all have in common? They identify themselves or work as a psychic. I can't say whether they are psychic or not, but I can say they did put me off, and they do make me feel a bit frustrated about how stereotypes around psychism have contributed to the mass denial of the existence of human abilities that go beyond our old-fashioned paradigms.
If you pick up and take on other people's emotions, if you feel you easily become overwhelmed among crowds or loud places, if you automatically sense the vibe of a person or a place, if human, animal or even the planet's suffering concerns you deeply, if you put other living beings first, if people usually turn to you because somehow you offer them comfort... know that there is nothing wrong with you. Some of us develop and expand their sensitivity beyond human reasoning.
Having a thing for learning made me study and invest in several training opportunities (and books). I can say I'm lucky for having the opportunity to practise both coaching and therapy as I know many people have one or both as their career or educational goals. In this blog post I will try to explain whether there are differences between these two modalities and, if so, which one is better.
Balloon release and sky lanterns are a familiar site at festivals, weddings, and memorials. But what goes up, must come down. After guests disperse and other decorations have been packed away, the balloons and lantern frames that created a few moments of happiness can litter the surrounding area for years and even decades. Balloons, sky lanterns, and plastic confetti are never biodegradable. They break into smaller and smaller pieces until they turn into microplastics, which are consumed by fish, birds, turtles and other wildlife. Here are a few of our favorite ways to celebrate that won’t endanger animals or local communities.
So yes, I think the change has already started and my goal for this post was to document the passage, to make it official. Perhaps a confirmation for myself that, despite these first six crazy months of 2019, I can't say that I screwed up or that everything is lost. The pain and the scary moments were necessary for me to learn how to connect with myself, make peace with my sensitivity, overcome my codependency tendencies, and keep the ball rolling. I can't say I'm happy. I can't say I'm sad either. I can say however that I'm ok. I'm showing myself more love and kindness, I'm slowly releasing shame and guilt, and I'm also becoming more patient and less impulsive. There are a lot of things I still don't understand or which don't make sense to me now, but I'm learning to trust the process. I did a quantum jump and for the first time I'm telling myself that it is ok to feel joy about it.
Most of our goals and dreams are, nonetheless, out of what is well-known to us. That's another reason why a mid-year review is extremely useful. More than a confrontation with reality, a mid-year review provides you a platform in which you can manage the known and the unknown. It's important to establish where you are at right now, where you would like to be in the future, and what needs to be worked out in between. So do grab your list of goals and future achievements. Have a nonjudgemental look at it and follow the "Four Rs Process" described below.
Don't give yourself on a plate. Don't sell yourself for nickels and dimes. Don't carry a discount tag around your neck and don't let anyone define your place. You are worth more than what God has ever created because, no matter what body you were given, you are life and life-nurturing. You are the magical side of humanity and you have the power to free us from our emotionless prison.
Whether you have been diagnosed with hypothyroidism or not, I totally swear by the power of these three spices that I'm bringing you here today. If you feel sluggish, tired, or even drained on a constant daily basis, I strongly recommend that you keep reading this blog post and give my suggestion a try. Why? Besides the 5 lifestyle changes I have committed myself to, in order to overcome burnout and empath overload, incorporating these three specific spices in my meal plan has had a huge impact on my overall energy levels.
The Life Path number is just one of the different aspects of numerology that I stumbled upon and which I bring now to you in this blog post. It is said to be the most important number in a numerology chart as it describes the nature of someone's life journey and the core of his or her personality. Please, let me know what's your Life Path number in the comments section - I would also love to know what do you think about numerology as a way to learn more about ourselves.
Wendy Megget, a fellow blogger from New Zealand, kindly awarded me with the Sunshine Blogger Award. Wendy is one of my current favourite bloggers in the WordPress community so it meant a lot to be nominated by her. Since I already hosted the Sunshine Blogger Award, and not that long time ago, I thought it was a good idea to thank Wendy for her kind nomination and answer to her questions, but skip the nominations for now, because I would end up nominating the same people. I also really enjoyed her questions and I think it is an interesting way to let you know a bit more about me - at least, beyond my more 'traditional' posts around here.
I have different metrics for what I consider a successful blog. I personally classify a blog as successful if it has organic engagement and traffic. This means I pay less attention to numbers and that I focus more on the quality of a blog's content and the relationships established through its platform. If this is what you are looking after, then this blog post is for you.
[This post contains a recipe! :)] Saint Anthony's Day is celebrated on June 13th and it is one of the most popular and awaited festivities in Portugal. I usually tell people to avoid summer months, because it gets extremely hot, but the truth is that our most emblematic festivals happen between June and August. So if you love the sun as much as I do and you don't mind getting hot (which by the way I do), you should definitely put visiting Lisbon (Lisboa) during summer time in your bucket list.
Burnout recovery takes time. A lot of time, sometimes. I would say it's a work in progress, because once your mind-body system gets used to be constantly flared up and out of control, it's hard to reset and restore it back to balance. For instances, I would like to confidently say that I'm recovered by now, but I can't. I'm taking my personal recovery as a day-by-day project, since I never really know when memories or present situations will trigger and send me back to living out of sync with my breath and human capacity. I can, however, tell and share how I have been recovering and getting my human energy back. Although not totally surprised, I'm still astonished with the results I have been getting. I went from having early dementia symptoms (memory problems, reduced concentration, apathy, withdrawal, reduced awareness, and loss of ability to do everyday tasks) to clear, focused awareness and healthy energy levels without having to rely on my double espressos. All I did was to change my lifestyle. Here are 5 of the most important changes:
I'm thirsty for life, that's what, but at the same time I'm at a crossroads. I don't make a move. I don't breakthrough. What is exactly stopping me? Why can't I make a plan and simply stick to it? If last year was bad, I guess this year is the period of time in which I try to make sense of the pieces that I'm left with and the pieces which I struggle to let go. What's happiness to me anyway? What do I need to feel satisfied with life? I'm sure answers will arrive when they are supposed to.
We all have the right to be. We don't need to do, be, and think more, or harder, in order to grow, become a better version of ourselves, or simply gain access to the good people's group. I think this is a common mistake we do once we start being interested in personal growth and development. We assume we need to achieve a set of goals that are already outlined by something or someone outside of ourselves. This is how we become slaves of expectations and how we trap others in the same loop. This is how we learn to say 'yes' when we want to say 'no'. This is how we disconnect from ourselves and how we become used to a life that is empty of meaning. The challenge for me now is to be the writer of my story regardless of what other people want, and to avoid controlling or manipulating other people's story.
Hey everyone, I had drafted this post a few weeks ago and, at the time, I felt a hunch that it wasn't appropriate to post it here, a blog about wellbeing. While I have been away from blogging though, I started to research and write a few pieces on the unconscious, its symbolic language and its role on human wellbeing. I can't tell you much more about it now while it's still a work in progress, but one of the points is that we are continuously exposed and conditioned by information that we are not even aware we're being exposed to and which affect our minds and lifestyle. This post I had drafted touches on that subject from a practical point of view and it was based on the recent return of Madonna. To my surprise, Madonna acted at Eurovision 2019's final in Tel Aviv yesterday night and with the research I'm currently doing I felt it was important to leave this here. I'm not returning to blogging yet but I'll be taking today's afternoon to catch up and visit some blogs.
This post is to tell you, however, that I'm going to seclude myself for a little while. I have been struggling to keep up with the blog's rhythm and I really need to save all the energy I can. It has taken me already two hours to write this post... and I have shut my eyes a dozen times. It came to a point that frustrates and scares me, so I will save my energy to reverse all this. I will be, nonetheless, taking time to catch up with your blogs. I haven't returned comments on your blogs because after posting here I get so exhausted that I switch off. That's also why it has taken me years to reply to comments.
On my way home, I thought about my own practise and how it has been difficult to integrate my views on therapy and healing - they are so different from what I was taught by the people who dictate the rules of what is and isn't proper psychology. Small details that have shaped my fear and led me to silence in the field. Small details that I'm tackling one step at a time, while I work on assuming myself as a healer, a medium between this and other realms, whether traditional psychology accepts that or not. And since psychology has never offered me the answers I seek for, today I took another step. I took the plunge and decided to learn what the native Americans have to say about healing ourselves and others. I'm submitting myself to a journey of rebirth and release. Only God knows how much I need to do that.
Being an empath is both a curse and a gift. In a society where extravagant behaviour is seen as "cool" and "desirable", enjoying quietness and solitude is seen as "weird" and "boring". Moreover, knowing other people's feelings and intentions can become extremely draining and cause a lot of overwhelm. It often becomes difficult for an empath to know to whom the emotions belong to in the first place. Why does this happen though? Here are three neuropsychological facts that explain how empaths are wired differently:
Like most people, I never had the money to invest in big transformational coaching programs (and that's why I try to make programs more affordable, by the way) or personal growth conferences. They are wonderful indeed, absolutely incredible if conducted by the right teacher or coach, but when you don't have a stable job and you can barely pay your bills, paying three thousand pounds for a weekend retreat might not be that realistic. Thus, I'm here to share with you my list of online teachers, people who have inspired me to live up to my dreams and fuelled my desire to make life changing teachings more accessible (and practical) to people I write to and work with. With no further delay, here is my list.
The last time I visited that clinic, I was still that fit chick. Today I'm almost 5 stones heavier and I'm conscious of the calamity. I gained 1,5 stones since the end of last February, the time I last returned from the UK. I shouldn't, but I allowed myself to get fat in the aftermath of everything that happened while I lived in the UK. I allowed myself to have the joy of junk food and I fell into old bad habits that made me an obese child and teenager before. I let food substitute the overwhelming thoughts of not knowing what to do and how to put my life back together. So I ate everything: huge doses of ice-cream, big doses of cookies at 4am... And the truth is that it felt damn good.
Whether you believe in it or not, the ancient chakra system can helps us a great deal by directing our focus of attention to different different aspects of our human life. Chakras are perceived as centres of consciousness, located throughout the human spine, and they are thought to have a circular shape. Each one of them is associated with a different spiritual concept or quality, which can in turn be blocked through negative thoughts, emotions, and actions. In this blog post, I will be sharing with you a little bit more of information about each chakra and how you can improve your wellbeing by working through natural healing techniques.
Practising meditation can be great for you and your wellbeing. Meditation is not, however, just about sitting in silence and mindfully paying attention to your bodily sensations, thoughts and feelings. Meditation, when supported by a good teacher, is a way to expand your awareness and self-knowledge. It is a vehicle that can allow you to go deeper and deeper into your consciousness and learn more about yourself. Such thing is not an easy task and that is also why many people avoid or say they cannot meditate. Nonetheless, if you ever peeled an onion, you know it has several layers and that you will eventually cry a little (or a lot) in the process. If you like onion though, you also know that it is worth the effort and that you will enjoy your food a lot more once you peeled it.
There are a lot of reasons to want to become organized, as well as some great benefits. In this post, I am going to give you 6 motivational benefits to become organized. I know that you are bound to have heard others talk about how great it is to become organized. It may have given you the push that you needed to give it a try. That’s great. But, did you also know that there are many benefits that come from being organized as well? Other than knowing where your stuff is and having a clutter-free lifestyle, let’s go over what else you can gain. Below are 6 benefits that will give you the motivation to become organized.
I think I started having coffee when I was 15. I started drinking it because I'm really prone to have low blood pressure. I didn't like it at first, but I guess that's what happens with many other psychoactive drugs. Who honestly likes alcohol? We get used to these substances and we learn to convince ourselves that we like it to the point of not being able to live without it. In fact, we like the temporary benefits that such substances produce in us and we forget, for instances, that people in the western world survived without coffee until the 17th century. Moreover, we forget that coffee was quite expensive and it wasn't consumed so often in a day. Today, we drink cup after cup, hoping to be more productive, when in fact we are only setting ourselves to failure.
I realised today that I have tried to fix something that might not be for me to fix it. I have wanted to influence the direction of this chariot without recognising that I'm not the only one in the driver's seat. I've been trying to make the chariot move forward, but if I give up the handle, I know it will go his way. And I would like to be in a situation in which, no matter what, I know the chariot keeps going forward instead of leaning to the right or to the left, even when I fall asleep. Now, I might well have to step down from the chariot and, most of all, I might need to be brave enough to face that I may end up walking my way out alone.
A part of our job as parents, and grown ups as a whole, is to prepare our young ones as best as possible for the life and times in the big wide world. Instinctively we want to protect our kids from discomfort, hurt, hardship and anything else we perceive as less than awesome. Unfortunately, this is not only impossible but also pretty unhelpful and certainly not doing anybody any favours. Building small humans into healthy, thriving big ones isn’t about clearing adversity out of their way. A healthy dose of reality and a touch of stress is life-giving and helps them to develop the skills they need to flourish. Strengthening them towards healthy living is about nurturing within them the strategies to deal with that adversity. Here’s a few thoughts on the how’s.
I was recently gifted with the book "Prescriptions from Dr Love", written by Dr Suzy Al Mushcab, a former medical doctor who decided to become a Ayurvedic lifestyle instructor and a NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) practitioner. In a nutshell, this book is about the journey of a patient towards good health, greater happiness, and wellbeing. This blog post is a sincere review of the book.
So I did a quick search, because there is no need to reinvent the wheel, and I found a couple of habits that are said to be part of the routine of multiple entrepreneurs. I think the most important thing about these habits is not exactly what you will get from them individually but the transformative energy you will generate while pursuing them.