We all have the right to be. We don't need to do, be, and think more, or harder, in order to grow, become a better version of ourselves, or simply gain access to the good people's group. I think this is a common mistake we do once we start being interested in personal growth and development. We assume we need to achieve a set of goals that are already outlined by something or someone outside of ourselves. This is how we become slaves of expectations and how we trap others in the same loop. This is how we learn to say 'yes' when we want to say 'no'. This is how we disconnect from ourselves and how we become used to a life that is empty of meaning. The challenge for me now is to be the writer of my story regardless of what other people want, and to avoid controlling or manipulating other people's story.
Hey everyone, I had drafted this post a few weeks ago and, at the time, I felt a hunch that it wasn't appropriate to post it here, a blog about wellbeing. While I have been away from blogging though, I started to research and write a few pieces on the unconscious, its symbolic language and its role on human wellbeing. I can't tell you much more about it now while it's still a work in progress, but one of the points is that we are continuously exposed and conditioned by information that we are not even aware we're being exposed to and which affect our minds and lifestyle. This post I had drafted touches on that subject from a practical point of view and it was based on the recent return of Madonna. To my surprise, Madonna acted at Eurovision 2019's final in Tel Aviv yesterday night and with the research I'm currently doing I felt it was important to leave this here. I'm not returning to blogging yet but I'll be taking today's afternoon to catch up and visit some blogs.
This post is to tell you, however, that I'm going to seclude myself for a little while. I have been struggling to keep up with the blog's rhythm and I really need to save all the energy I can. It has taken me already two hours to write this post... and I have shut my eyes a dozen times. It came to a point that frustrates and scares me, so I will save my energy to reverse all this. I will be, nonetheless, taking time to catch up with your blogs. I haven't returned comments on your blogs because after posting here I get so exhausted that I switch off. That's also why it has taken me years to reply to comments.
On my way home, I thought about my own practise and how it has been difficult to integrate my views on therapy and healing - they are so different from what I was taught by the people who dictate the rules of what is and isn't proper psychology. Small details that have shaped my fear and led me to silence in the field. Small details that I'm tackling one step at a time, while I work on assuming myself as a healer, a medium between this and other realms, whether traditional psychology accepts that or not. And since psychology has never offered me the answers I seek for, today I took another step. I took the plunge and decided to learn what the native Americans have to say about healing ourselves and others. I'm submitting myself to a journey of rebirth and release. Only God knows how much I need to do that.
Being an empath is both a curse and a gift. In a society where extravagant behaviour is seen as "cool" and "desirable", enjoying quietness and solitude is seen as "weird" and "boring". Moreover, knowing other people's feelings and intentions can become extremely draining and cause a lot of overwhelm. It often becomes difficult for an empath to know to whom the emotions belong to in the first place. Why does this happen though? Here are three neuropsychological facts that explain how empaths are wired differently:
Like most people, I never had the money to invest in big transformational coaching programs (and that's why I try to make programs more affordable, by the way) or personal growth conferences. They are wonderful indeed, absolutely incredible if conducted by the right teacher or coach, but when you don't have a stable job and you can barely pay your bills, paying three thousand pounds for a weekend retreat might not be that realistic. Thus, I'm here to share with you my list of online teachers, people who have inspired me to live up to my dreams and fuelled my desire to make life changing teachings more accessible (and practical) to people I write to and work with. With no further delay, here is my list.
The last time I visited that clinic, I was still that fit chick. Today I'm almost 5 stones heavier and I'm conscious of the calamity. I gained 1,5 stones since the end of last February, the time I last returned from the UK. I shouldn't, but I allowed myself to get fat in the aftermath of everything that happened while I lived in the UK. I allowed myself to have the joy of junk food and I fell into old bad habits that made me an obese child and teenager before. I let food substitute the overwhelming thoughts of not knowing what to do and how to put my life back together. So I ate everything: huge doses of ice-cream, big doses of cookies at 4am... And the truth is that it felt damn good.
Whether you believe in it or not, the ancient chakra system can helps us a great deal by directing our focus of attention to different different aspects of our human life. Chakras are perceived as centres of consciousness, located throughout the human spine, and they are thought to have a circular shape. Each one of them is associated with a different spiritual concept or quality, which can in turn be blocked through negative thoughts, emotions, and actions. In this blog post, I will be sharing with you a little bit more of information about each chakra and how you can improve your wellbeing by working through natural healing techniques.
Practising meditation can be great for you and your wellbeing. Meditation is not, however, just about sitting in silence and mindfully paying attention to your bodily sensations, thoughts and feelings. Meditation, when supported by a good teacher, is a way to expand your awareness and self-knowledge. It is a vehicle that can allow you to go deeper and deeper into your consciousness and learn more about yourself. Such thing is not an easy task and that is also why many people avoid or say they cannot meditate. Nonetheless, if you ever peeled an onion, you know it has several layers and that you will eventually cry a little (or a lot) in the process. If you like onion though, you also know that it is worth the effort and that you will enjoy your food a lot more once you peeled it.
There are a lot of reasons to want to become organized, as well as some great benefits. In this post, I am going to give you 6 motivational benefits to become organized. I know that you are bound to have heard others talk about how great it is to become organized. It may have given you the push that you needed to give it a try. That’s great. But, did you also know that there are many benefits that come from being organized as well? Other than knowing where your stuff is and having a clutter-free lifestyle, let’s go over what else you can gain. Below are 6 benefits that will give you the motivation to become organized.
I think I started having coffee when I was 15. I started drinking it because I'm really prone to have low blood pressure. I didn't like it at first, but I guess that's what happens with many other psychoactive drugs. Who honestly likes alcohol? We get used to these substances and we learn to convince ourselves that we like it to the point of not being able to live without it. In fact, we like the temporary benefits that such substances produce in us and we forget, for instances, that people in the western world survived without coffee until the 17th century. Moreover, we forget that coffee was quite expensive and it wasn't consumed so often in a day. Today, we drink cup after cup, hoping to be more productive, when in fact we are only setting ourselves to failure.
I realised today that I have tried to fix something that might not be for me to fix it. I have wanted to influence the direction of this chariot without recognising that I'm not the only one in the driver's seat. I've been trying to make the chariot move forward, but if I give up the handle, I know it will go his way. And I would like to be in a situation in which, no matter what, I know the chariot keeps going forward instead of leaning to the right or to the left, even when I fall asleep. Now, I might well have to step down from the chariot and, most of all, I might need to be brave enough to face that I may end up walking my way out alone.
A part of our job as parents, and grown ups as a whole, is to prepare our young ones as best as possible for the life and times in the big wide world. Instinctively we want to protect our kids from discomfort, hurt, hardship and anything else we perceive as less than awesome. Unfortunately, this is not only impossible but also pretty unhelpful and certainly not doing anybody any favours. Building small humans into healthy, thriving big ones isn’t about clearing adversity out of their way. A healthy dose of reality and a touch of stress is life-giving and helps them to develop the skills they need to flourish. Strengthening them towards healthy living is about nurturing within them the strategies to deal with that adversity. Here’s a few thoughts on the how’s.
I was recently gifted with the book "Prescriptions from Dr Love", written by Dr Suzy Al Mushcab, a former medical doctor who decided to become a Ayurvedic lifestyle instructor and a NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) practitioner. In a nutshell, this book is about the journey of a patient towards good health, greater happiness, and wellbeing. This blog post is a sincere review of the book.
Once I let go all the expectations and opted for living a simpler life, my panic attacks disappeared almost immediately. Today, anxiety may kick in more harshly sometimes but when that happens I remind myself that life is far more precious than any first world problem. I remind myself that I’m only human and that I must give myself permission to just be that - human.
Today, I try to do things differently. I try to be more responsible for myself and my relationships. No, I wouldn’t like to repair any relationship from the past, because I had very little to do with them in the first place. I would actually force myself into relating to people as they appeared in my life because I thought I had no choice. I let myself be trapped by the idea that I had to open my door to anyone who showed up at my doorstep. I thought I had to be complacent with people’s behaviour, even if that meant to be under emotional abuse. I could have, however, done better.
Our wounds are important to achieve a better version of ourselves, which otherwise would never be born or see the daylight. Yes, a wound is more than the pain it inflicts. A wound is a sign that you lived and that you are still part of the school of life. Now it’s time to treat your older wounds, so you can advance further in your life education - there is so much more to learn.
Disclaimer: This is a chapter of a new book I'm working on. I'm writing as much as I can everyday for about an 1h and I decided to share the unedited versions here on the blog. If you're on Twitter and you need motivation to write, I'm hosting a virtual writing session (#ShutUpAndWriteTwitter) from Monday to Friday at 10pm, London time.
the reason why so many of us have 'meltdown' experiences nowadays is exactly because we lead our lives without mindfulness, without conscious awareness. We are 'set up' to rush through life, because time is money and the world doesn't wait for you. These are common beliefs that subconsciously mine our attempts of living a fulfilling and meaningful life. We may say that we don't think this way but we were led to believe that it's how life and others work. Therefore, the first thing to do when having a meltdown is to slow down or even freeze in time, so we can reconnect ourselves. In fewer words, the first thing to do is to become mindful. Now don't think I'm recommending you to go open a mobile app or listen to a guided mindfulness meditation. I'm talking about becoming mindful, aware, conscious, by taking a couple of deep breaths, relaxing your shoulders and your stomach area. I'm talking about of reminding yourself that you're only human, a living, breathing organism who has the power to step back and connect with the best part of you once again.
A few weeks ago, BuyWholeFoodsOnline.co.uk kindly gifted us with a marvellous box of healthy goodies and challenged us to create two new recipes with their ingredients. I love food as much as I love writing so I didn't have to think twice, but I still was very surprised by the great variety of whole foods they have available through their online store, which turns healthy cooking and baking much easier. Who hasn't already struggled to find high-quality super-foods? I always struggled to find vegan alternatives to adapt recipes and now we can find what we are looking for using BuyWholeFoodsOnline.co.uk search bar!
I never thought I would be one day crying over this, but I am. I can't quite tell if I feel sorry for us, for me, or for him. I think I feel sorry for the fact I once got myself so deep into it. And I feel sorry for him because I feel he's now gradually walking the same path that transformed me into a two-leg monster. And perhaps I feel sorry for us, since I'm not sure if we're supposed to survive together.
I'm writing directly to let you know that from April onwards I will be hosting a free Wellbeing Training by e-mail. This will happen on a monthly basis and I will be addressing a different topic each month from a Psychology's point of view. April's module is about Creativity and it will be sent out on April 1st by 9:15pm, London time. If you want to receive this and all the other modules, all you have to do is to subscribe to my mailing list.
To reach the point in which you decide to reinvent your life though, you have to become aware of the little signs that life gives you to let you know that something is wrong, that you are out of sync with yourself. I consciously or unconsciously chose to ignore these signs as I already told you. That brought me negative consequences. Besides destroying both my physical and mental health to a point of almost no return, I also failed to be the best version of myself. I failed to be fully present to those who love me and I failed to develop new positive relationships. So to help you make an assessment and bring you some awareness to the signs that are supposed to warn and make us choose better options in life, here are eight aspects or symptoms that you may be experiencing.
I really do love blogging but I love my ethics more. I'm not here to promote products or anything else for the sake of money. If you read my post about feedback, you know that at this stage in life I'm pretty much unemployed and searching for happiness after getting and living burned out for more than three years. I can't embark, however, on a journey of money making through blogging. Yes, it seems we are growing and it is my dream to reach people through writing. It is my dream to empower people who struggle with similar or even the same problems I do. I don't want that to come true though at the expense of my values and vision.
Based on the river banks of the Danube in the South East of Romania, Yandra values and respects nature while also crafting luxurious products in their farm. Their secret ingredient is Damask rose buds which are obtained from their own roses. Besides offering high quality teas, Yandra has also introduced a new Rose Syrup in the market which is 100% natural and vegan friendly. As if all this wasn't enough to convince me, Yandra has not only the concern of building sustainable partnerships, but also the organisational culture of giving back to the community as a way to counteract poverty and inequality.
A good coach knows that human motivation is precious and fragile. A good coach will let you know what needs improvement, but a good coach will also know how to conduct his or her speech so that you never feel powerless, disempowered, or discouraged. On a personal note, I do think that if we worked this skill in ourselves, we would all be much better friends and partners. It doesn't mean that people who don't know how to give feedback don't love us, but we would have better relationships and we wouldn't probably struggle so much with anxiety, stress, and depression in general. Sometimes, the difference between a smile and a tear is someone's words of encouragement.
All in all, I'm happier than I have ever been since I left Lisbon in September 2015. I'm happier because even though I don't have the mind, the body, the energy, and the safety of a standard plan I have my dreams and I shamelessly know what I stand for. I know myself a bit more and I'm no longer afraid of being different. I'm no longer afraid of doing and wanting to trek a different road.
Afterwards, the bug and I remained in silence for a long time and I felt warm tears rolling down my face. There was a willing to fight them back and to deny the bug's words, because those words were the truth I didn't want to accept. I thought that accepting them meant having to hate myself for not being rational enough. The thing is that love is not rational, it just is... and the bug of emptiness comes in to tell us every now and then that we are missing in Love so that we can ease up our heart and let it be true to itself.
Mercury is currently in the sign of Pisces, the energy of dreams, visions and creativity. As the Mercury retrograde expresses itself, it reflects the emotional, intuitive energy of Pisces; listen to it! Listen to your intuition at this time; listen to your inner voice and the messages coming from your spirit. You may receive visions or omens from the divine sending you warning signals; pay attention to these.
Writing for me is to step into a sacred space. It's the entrance to my inner-being without dismissing my connection to every other human being. It's a portal to a world where all emotions co-exist freely and where there are no harsh rules shaping their expression. Hence, writing is my way to connect with life, because when I write I dive deep into humanity's heart. When I write, I do not only exist. I am one with myself and with the world. I am.
It's time to wake up and stop tolerating the idea that "it's life" and that there is nothing we can do about it. It's time to stop the disempowerment of people who probably grew up believing that there was something really wrong with their brains and way of responding to life. I have been one of those too. The ugly truth is that we, as human beings, have been evolving in a climate of uncertainty and mechanists. Many of us were told that it is wrong to feel sad or angry. Many of us were told that it is wrong to be you, because being you means being an overload of many different things at the same time and the system doesn't like that. The system likes us to be who they want us to be, obeying sheep.
My research on Mindfulness and profound attraction for uncomfortable questions led me to learn about Buddhism. I studied the work of some ancient and contemporanean monks and I read about different approaches within Buddhism. I grew fond of Buddhism and its ideas about the mind, the human suffering, and the pathway to enlightenment. Yet I never felt like saying "I'm Buddhist". One day, I had plenty of time and I visited the Gatwick's Airport chapel. The room was empty and that was a relief. I sat down and I closed my eyes. After a while, a man, a priest I suppose, materialised himself in the room and he asked what Religion did I follow. I answered I was into Buddhism to what he stated "So you're a Buddhist". I couldn't tell him yes. I was interested in Buddhism, I still am, but I can't claim I'm a Buddhist, so all I could reply was "Well, sort of... not exactly".
I'm learning to love myself more each day so I can also love you more. I still don't like corridor small-talk and I never will, I think. However, I don't judge or hate the portion of women who like it, because I don't like to be judged for being different either. I don't like to feel that the way I am is wrong and I don't want to make someone else feel that way just because their way of being is different from mine. Today I choose to celebrate female diversity and I choose to respect each one of us by respecting myself first - I'm a badass mystic nurturer and there is nothing wrong with that!
The hard fact is that I'm only one person and a business has a lot of different aspects that need to be taken care of. If I'm busy manufacturing, I can't be at the same time looking after marketing or taking care of admin details. If I'm working my way through products, I can't be working on my services. Embracing this process with mindfulness has made me more patient with myself and my progress.
I'm enjoying the simplicity of being and reconnecting with what moves me as a person. I'm happier outside the standard system and it's true too that I'm only taking the first steps. I will have to battle hard to make my way viable and sustainable, but I' sure I won't be wasting away the best of me like I did for so many years. I don't think our way in life is supposed to be one of suffering and illness. I believe our way in life must be one of happiness, grace, and compassion. That's why I'm changing my life, one step at a time. I want to live more aligned with who I am and what I love. I want to cherish the people I meet and the experiences I get to live on this journey to happiness and beyond.
Sitting down in from of my laptop and writing is like coming home. Reading your experiences and learning about your point of views is even greater. I feel I have grown and I have matured in a way that wouldn't be possible if I hadn't started this blog. I hope you and I can keep growing together. I hope I can keep reading your stories and I hope you can keep reading mine. I hope we can keep this sacred space between us.
For me finding myself has been more about self-acceptance and self-worth than actually finding out what makes me temporarily happy or entertained or contented. I wanted to publish a book about happiness this March and while I was trying to edit it I realised I couldn't do it, I couldn't finish it before finding myself and making myself happy. But guess what, there is nothing out there that will tell me who I am and there is nothing out there that will keep me happy forever and ever. So why keep following carrots in a stick when we were born farmers?
You are not mentally ill because you are depressed, anxious, or stressed. Moreover, the argument that such experiences are due to an "unbalanced serotonin" alchemy is nothing more than a lie that pharmaceutical industry and well-paid scientists keep telling. That's another reason why I became disenchanted about the work I do; more often than not I see money being spent incorrectly and data-driven stories being severely edited so they can lead to more and bigger research grants. The lie about antidepressants, for instances, is just an example of one of those lies that became true to the extent that today many people attach themselves to the story of being mentally ill and to the need of swallowing higher and higher doses of antidepressants. That's how they have been conditioned to see and think about their subjective experiences, while a few people get richer and secure their jobs on and on.
As I promised on my instagram this week and as I mentioned on one of my previous posts, I'm sharing here today a different version of a vegetarian meal from my cooking e-book "Healthy Recipes for Wellbeing". You can have it for free if you download my Free Wellbeing Kit, which contains a few more goodies to support you on your wellbeing journey.
Life is always easier if we tell the truth. I don't say it is not scary or hard-working. We often don't say the truth because our ego thinks we need to show up strong and put together. We believe we are supposed to be tough because that's what everyone tells us. I now find that telling the truth is a greater sign of strength. To stand up naked in the world with your heart on the table requires you to surrender to the uncertain, to the unknown... but it also blesses you with a greater easiness, with a higher dose of inner peace.
I used to say I was going to England with a secret research agenda. I guess I lost sight of that because I tried to fit in. My interest in mindfulness was in its capacity to increase our level of awareness and therefore expand our human consciousness. When we expand our consciousness, we do start to tap into much subtler energy fields.
I don't know exactly what will follow, but I do know that I'm going to do a conscious effort to apply this thinking. It made me feel more deeply how life without Love is a living Hell and how we should care more about each other. When there isn't Love, there isn't a reason to smile and maybe our modern problem is exactly the absence, the lack, and misuse of Love.
There are hundreds and hundreds of books about mindfulness. So if you want to start to explore what mindfulness is, where do you start? Good question. My shelf has many books on mindfulness. It's very easy to find new authors publishing on this topic every day in any given book shop. But if you want … Continue reading Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn (Mindfulness Book)