It sounds obvious and cliche, the whole talk about self-love. But I can’t deny its kernel of truth. I would like to add that we often think we already love ourselves enough just to find out that we actually don’t. We think we know what it means, because it sounds pretty simple. However, we know very little about self-love and proof of that is the fact that we keep trapped in unhealthy or very dramatic relationships.
When you actually love yourself, you don’t wait endlessly for someone to reply your calls, texts, or e-mails. You stop choosing to invest in people that keep you waiting, because you realise they don’t put as much importance on you as you put in them. Actually, when you learn to love yourself, you no longer even feel interested in sticking around people who only connect with you when they need an “ego massage”. You look instead for people who can actually contribute to the maintenance of a two-way relationship, a kind of relationship in which you can give but you also need to receive.
Learning to love ourselves is a big journey. We can only decide today to love ourselves a little bit more than yesterday but we can’t really say that we already love ourselves enough. This sounds especially true when our relationships’ department has been quite messy and when we have experienced more heartbreaks than happiness and joy. The more we love ourselves, however, things start to change. We develop a greater awareness of the type of people who can share love and the type of people who can’t and therefore we need to let go.
Self-love is also realising that we are not supposed to make anything work. We are just supposed to become aware of who we are and therefore know who and which situations are better for us. That’s loving oneself: having the enough inner knowledge to accept what we can’t change and fully embrace experiences that bring harmony to our being. Choosing who you relate with or cling on is part of that process.