Today a friend texted me the following:
I am making a pause in my spiritual life. I need to put my mind in place. I need that.
And I replied back:
Whatever you decide to do for yourself, I support you.
I would not change a word I said but I started to think about the meaning behind her words. She didn’t really mean what she said; she actually just wanted to run away from her anxious thoughts which she clearly identifies with her spiritual life. Moreover, I don’t think we can hit the pause button when we are talking about something that is part of being human.
Here are some of the things I think she was actually trying to say:
I am exhausted of thinking.
I am tired of only seeing problems and no solutions.
I want to get rid of my sensitivity.
I want my suffering to end.
I don’t want to feel, think or do anything.
I want stillness, peace, quietness.
Being spiritual or embracing spirituality has nothing to do with anxiety and turmoil. I would say it’s almost the opposite – you observe your feelings, thoughts and behaviours, but you don’t engage directly with them. You inquire them with curiosity. What are they trying to tell you? What are they trying to teach you? And you do this from a very safe place – from the observer’s point of view, the one who has enough distance to see the bigger picture and the light at the end of the tunnel.
This time I will let my friend figure it out by herself, which gives me a weird sense of self-control as I am choosing not to engage with her drama and not lecturing her on what I think spirituality is about. She knows I support any decision she makes towards the best version of herself and that’s enough.