As part of a plan to learn how to relax myself more, I decided yesterday to go to the movies and watch a film whose trailer spoke to me deeply.
I’m talking about the french movie “Let the sunshine in“, which is about a woman who seeks love after a divorce. Her story is not much different from mine – no, I never ended up married, but her attitude towards love is the same I used to have.
Seeing my whole love history in that big screen made me realise how pathetic I was before I honestly commit to myself; before I stop accepting bones instead of looking forward to the whole chicken. Just like the character in the movie, I would try to grab with both hands any person who would show a little bit of interest. And the worst part is that I would fall in love with them instantly.
At the very end of the movie, my eyes were filled with water. There’s a great dialogue between Gérard Depardieu and the main character. His message is powerful and a must to every woman or man who like me has a tendency to get lost in a love fantasy that only brings up hurt. Hence, based on the movie, here are 3 important lessons that every single person must know:
Focus On Yourself
If you are desperately seeking out for a new love and, in worst case scenario, if you are a relationship addict like I was, you are probably forgetting to pay attention to yourself and your self-care needs. When we are seeking a love outside of us, we often are so “out there” that we lose the center of ourselves. The love you are looking for, that great, fantastic love story, will only happen when you are centred and confident in your own life. So pay attention to your likes and dislikes, allow yourself to know you better and become the person you would like to be. The best relationships are a result of the union between two people who are wholes – not halves.
Only Settle For Someone Who Is Ideal For You
Yes, we don’t really choose who we fell for, I know. But I also know that people who constantly seek a new love can easily jump into situations too quick and then accept behaviours and attitudes from others that compromise their own sense of self-dignity. Plus, a relationship can make you feel good or comfortable sometimes, but is it ideal for you? Is it really what you have been looking for? Is that person truly compatible with who you are and who you look for a partner?
Accept & Enjoy Your Time As A Single Person
I wish I had known this before: there is no better time than the time you are single (except when you are in a happy and respectful relationship, of course). This is actually NOT the time to seek for a new love but to find yourself and get to know what you want to be manifested in your love life. For some of us, who live for the fantasy of finding that special person to share a life with, this time can be scary and even depressive, but it’s a time for healing your attitude towards love. Being single does not mean that you have to be actively seeking someone to be in a relationship with – that thought and false belief only rushes you into bad decisions.