Have you been single for an awful lot of time and struggling with dating? Join the club! In this post I’m sharing with you my most recent and disappointing “match”.
I have been single like “forever” because I know what I want and I know how I want to feel in a partnership. At each failed situationship, I have been raising the bar, and that’s probably why I sometimes think it is going to be really hard to find the perfect imperfect person for me – if I ever do.
I recently came across someone who seemed quite “perfect”: a good humoured guy, intelligent, a huge will to become a father at some point, a cute smile, a similar educational background, but… he is again one of those men who can’t show genuine interest in another person. He never tries to know more about my interests, and he never really has a conversation with me – our chats are monologues, where he tells his stories and I simply listen to his narrative.
You may tell me that this might be the “imperfect” part of the equation. I know no one is perfect, including me. However, the way another person makes me feel is very important and I want to feel heard, seen, and cherished. In our conversations this occurs only in one direction and I certainly don’t have the patience to tolerate this from another guy. He is not the first well-educated and self-absorbed guy who comes my way and he was also not the first one making me cry out of the blue thanks to his lack of awareness. Worse than that, he was not the first one pretending that I was not crying in his presence and that he had nothing to apologise for.
And why did I cry?
Well, it was not because I liked him in any form or shape, it was because he started to lash out at me, using, mixing, and messing up things I had said before to force me doing something I didn’t want to do. On top of that, it became clear that he was looking for a housewife, someone who he would be willing to financially support, and who would live to take care of him, his house, and kids. I guess that’s when my wild anarchist spirit kicked in and told me to distance myself from that guy as soon as possible.
I have nothing against housewives. At some point, I would not mind to be one for a little while, but I would like to share that experience with my partner, meaning that he would have to be a househusband at some point too! This guy though was letting me know that he was looking for someone who couldn’t put her career in front of anything else. Ok, I have been focusing on my career and I am experiencing disastrous results because of that, but to get rid of a career, entirely? Seriously?
I’m clearly not his match. My wild anarchist spirit wouldn’t afford to babysit him and thinking about it makes my stomach revolve. I couldn’t even imagine myself giving him the benefit of the doubt, specially not right now when I’m looking forward to build my own brand and start writing about all those crazy, weird, and silly things that a post-post-modern woman goes through in today’s society. It’s unhealthy for a woman or a man solely focus on her or his career… but I find it much worse to be a woman or a man whose principles are so out of fashion.
My little piece of advice for you who has been single for a long while:
Stay true to yourself, keep your light on, and don’t let anyone smash it!