Girl, Stop Crying Over Baby Boys

If you have been following me here, you know I have this thing for synchronicities and for going after the metaphysical meaning of whatever happens in my life. So let me explain to you how this post is coming about first. In the beginning of this week I caught myself thinking “Oh, great! I haven’t been thinking of him!”, and I smiled because I had been so busy doing what I love that I didn’t give two seconds of my time to stop and ponder whether hope is really the last one dying or whether I’m really crazy for still even let him cross my thoughts. Do you know what happened afterwards? Of course, I started overthinking things all over, but this time differently. I saw that I miss what was good about him, but I was also reminded of aspects that I honestly wouldn’t like in a man. I would like a sensitive man, but not a baby boy. In a moment of crisis, I would like a man to make me feel safe and not a boy who will shake his hands in despair and have a melt-down.

Wait, I’m not saying that men can’t cry and that men can’t panic. I’m saying I would like to be the one in someone’s arms and not the one who holds, at least not on twenty-four hour non-stop shifts. Since I have been acknowledging my softy, fluffy, and pinky side, I have been changing my mindset over romantic relationships. I have pretty clear that 1) I don’t want baby boys, 2) I don’t want a clone of my father, and 3) I don’t want abusive, narcissistic men. I hope this is crystal clear in my heart so that God knows I learned the lesson. Or at least I’m trying to solidifying the teachings and I have been doing the best I can everyday to move one step closer to a better version of myself.

Let me go back, however, to the synchronicities that led me to write these words. I was trying to catch up with WordPress, which lately became a lot harder, and as I was reading a couple of posts of women who have been dealing with dark nights, longing for partners who emotionally abused them and who surely don’t give a damn about the amount of kleenex’s boxes on their living room’s floor, I felt this huge protective barrier between me and them as if I was watching over like parents who watch their premature newborn in the nursery through a glass window. I could feel those women’s pain but the glass reminded me that there was nothing I could really do to help them. None of my direct words make sense to them, because they don’t hear. In fact, it doesn’t matter whatever people say to comfort them, because they will only get out of the dark when they decide they had enough. In other words, when they truly realise their value.

This leads me to the next synchronicity. After the weird experience of feeling like I was watching those women through a glass window, fighting to survive, I stumbled on a complete different story. I stumbled on one of the most recent blog posts from Angell, entitled “Are You Worth It?“. Ladies and gents, this post is absolutely vavavoom and I totally recommend it because it invites you to change your perspective about dating and choosing a partner. As I was reading Angell’s post, I caught myself thinking of him again and I made the question Is he worth it? No, he isn’t, and this answer became clearer when I got to this epic phrase Potential is cute, but it’s not sustainable. Potential is cute but it’s not sustainable. Damn, I had got stuck in potential and cuteness without doing a sustainability assessment. Why? Well, because I couldn’t see value in my own life and I romantically thought he was everything I ever wanted. I should revisit my Neuropsychology books, because I keep forgetting that we can surely think stupid things when running on dopamine.

So I would like to leave you with this question: is he or she worth your blank future? You know, time is passing by and we compromise our future when we cling onto people who will never come back and be our person. Yes, it takes time to heal, I’m all for that, but it also takes a shift in perspective. Think about it. Are you waiting on potential and cuteness, or are you creating sustainability in your life? Baby boys and baby girls can’t really play the game you have been wishing for. And if we keep loathing ourselves, crying over spilled milk ad eternum, then we’re the babies, we haven’t gown up yet and thus we are unfit to play the upper game. Now, for fun, to change the energy, I leave you with a latin beat for us to step in, because it takes a L-O-T of attitude from our part to stop living a miserable life and running after pointless drama in our own heads. You know I’m no better than you; you know I suck at it, but we don’t have another option. We either snap out of it or we won’t live what life has prepared for us.


If you want to live your life
Live it all the way and don’t waste it

Jennifer Lopez

20 thoughts on “Girl, Stop Crying Over Baby Boys

  1. Oh my goodness, you’ve made my day!! I’m just reading along mentally high fiving you for being clearer with your desires in a mate and then I see my name. Wow! I’m glad that you got a takeaway! Even happier it means you’re moving on from a baby boy!! Much love!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, lovely! 😁 I certainly got a takeaway and additional inspiration to write this one. I hope many go and peek your blog post because it’s really game-changing. Sometimes it’s really hard to put ourselves the question you wrote about, but we need to face it if we want to move on in life. Thank you for sharing! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  2. So true when you talk about women in narcissistic relationships: ‘I could feel those women’s pain but the glass reminded me that there was nothing I could really do to help them.’ As you say, they are the only ones who can instigate change in their lives, once they are ready to move on.
    I’m glad you’ve had some lightbulb moments! Thanks for sharing them 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s sad, but it’s true. I’ve been one of them for many years and we literally only learn once we get ‘enough’ and decide to stop being secluded in our own black box. 🤷‍♀️ Self-pity is self-torture. 🙅‍♀️
      Thanks for sharing your magic ♥️

      Like

    1. Oh, yes! Please do – the more, the merrier 😊 We could be so much happier if we saw that each one of us is one of a kind and that we can feel better in a community filled with love & compassion 🥰 Mental high five 🙏 thank you for coming by and sharing your magic ♥️

      Like

  3. I think you hit the nail on the head as to why males are suffering a media and peer driven identity crisis, male suicide is rising! They are struggling to create an identity with all the apparent contridictions that are thrown forward as ‘heros’ or sucesses

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mark, thanks for your insightful comment and for bringing that up, I’ve been thinking about it since I read it. I think women have been very unfair towards men and I will include myself in that group. In the journey of female empowerment, few have seen how men are also struggling with the new perspectives on gender roles. I hope the next step is to recognise both genders are a ‘tad’ lost and need to co-operate, communicate and build a new ‘optimal’ equilibrium…

      Like

    1. I agree! Sometimes we get a bit sidetracked though, we think someone lifts us and they end up breaking our hearts 😔 but maybe it’s really a hint to work on our self-awareness – I believe the red flags are always there, we just can’t see them well enough 🤐 (or we pretend don’t hehe). Thank you for sharing your magic! 😘😘

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, that is the issue I had with the last guy. The connection was great and I thought he added to my life, but then there were the lifestyle differences that didn’t work. I kept overlooking them and/or trying to make them work with my life but after a few months of doing that I realized how much it was bringing me down and affecting me negatively. It kinda sucks when you can be in love with someone’s spirit/personality but their lifestyle doesn’t work with yours. Thank-you for writing an article that is so relatable!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Lifestyle changes are really hard to work with, especially if it clashes with something we need to work harder on ourselves (healthy eating is my case usually). Someone will come along with whom you feel better, I’m sure. I want to believe in that. Have you watched the recent movie “Isn’t it romantic?”. I don’t usually do rom-coms (and neither the main movie character) but this one brings back the idea that there is nothing wrong to keep wishing for that ”perfect” imperfect love for us ☺️

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s