A few years ago, I was asked whether I had already looked into shamanism or had been interested in native American’s wisdom. At the time, I said no, I had never felt an urge to learn or seek more information about indigenous’ teachings. The only connection I had with that part of our humanity was through a past life regression, in which I saw myself in a young, indigenous’ girl body, who had been separated from her family and forced into an orphanage with another child, possibly her brother. It was my first self-induced past life regression and although I still don’t know what to think about it until today, I later did some research and learned that for a long time indigenous children were removed from their families in order to be integrated in American society. I recently found out that, in 1978, a special act – the Indian Child Welfare Act – was created in America to stop this monstrosity. Moreover, the girl, or the person I was in my previous lifetime, died from inanition because she stopped eating due to sadness. Curious how I struggle with overeating in this lifetime, isn’t it? Anyhow, this was the only event that brought me closer to the topic of indigenous culture and teachings.
While dealing with the harsh consequences of neglecting my intuition and forcing myself to live accordingly to today’s “new normal” way of living, I have recently grounded my meditation practise by listening to Sarah Blondin’s guided meditations. Her voice and deep connection to the earth and our human nature have helped me to reconnect with my own light. Today was no different, and after a couple of minutes listening to her on my way home, I decided to take off my shoes and walk barefoot on an old, abandoned road.
This old road has been slowly reconquered by nature, so it’s not unusual to find cracks and little green leafs wanting to breakthrough the asphalt. When I noticed how flowers have bloomed since the last time I walked in that road, a voice in the form of thought came to my mind as it usually does: reframe your birth mother using mother nature as a reference and the wound will heal. Thus, I was intuitively guided to deepen my connection with nature and its healing power, something I have been very interested in. Lately, I have been paying more attention to the four nature’s elements: fire, water, wind, and earth. Each elements works like an archetype.
It’s interesting how the guiding voice also pointed out that I would find the grounding and nurturance I need through mother earth. That’s when another thought popped up and I heard “Look for shamanism”. And so I did, using my phone. Several training options on shamanism came up in my browser, but I felt immediately pulled into one in specific, that said “Munay-ki”, a series of empowering rites to help us heal. At that moment, little did I know the meaning of “munay-ki”. Little did I know that I had already watched a documentary, a long time ago, about Dr Alberto’s learning journey in Peru. Little did I knew that it was all connected with my morning experience in the health centre, the place I was returning from.
In the health centre, I was first connected with a nurse that showed no signs of compassion. She seemed only interested in making her usual standard questions and lecturing me on the importance of breast palpation. I knew her lesson well, so I drifted. The reason that led me there had nothing to do with my breasts. I was there to get help for my physical and mental exhaustion, which have lasted for almost four years now. I couldn’t see how answering yes or no to her standard questions was going to help me with my problem – and it didn’t in fact. We didn’t even talk about coming up with a plan to help me fight obesity once more (my BMI is now 32).
Thankfully, I was next received by a medical intern. I say thankfully because I was supposed to meet my usual doctor, whose only advice so far has been to take sleeping pills. The intern received me with loving-kindness and active listening though. She listened to me and she tapped into my suffering. She heard my story and instructed me on the next steps to take, which involve more exams to understand the extent to which my thyroid is damaged. In the end, she apologised for the session taking so long (bless her!). I told her not to worry, and thanked her with all my heart. Before leaving, I asked her “Please keep being kind… sometimes we heal just because someone is nice to us”. She understood what I meant and smiled.
On my way home, I thought about my own practise and how it has been difficult to integrate my views on therapy and healing – they are so different from what I was taught by the people who dictate the rules of what is and isn’t proper psychology. Small details that have shaped my fear and led me to silence in the field. Small details that I’m tackling one step at a time, while I work on assuming myself as a healer, a medium between this and other realms, whether traditional psychology accepts that or not. And since psychology has never offered me the answers I seek for, today I took another step. I took the plunge and decided to learn what the native Americans have to say about healing ourselves and others. I’m submitting myself to a journey of rebirth and release. Only God knows how much I need to do that.