Thank God For Those Unanswered Prayers


Imagine if I had studied Nutrition, instead of Psychology. Imagine if I had become a psychologist, instead of a coach. Imagine if things between my ex and I had worked out, instead of breaking into one hundred million pieces. Imagine if I had given up on this blog, instead of continuing to write as I felt like it. Imagine if I had silenced my hypersensitivity, my differences and my dreams, instead of gathering the courage to speak my truth. Imagine if I had chosen illness, instead of happiness and wellbeing.

I wanted to be a nutritionist so badly. Then I tried to fit in as a traditional psychologist. I cried, prayed and put myself in the most inglorious positions to have my relationship back. I thought one day this blog would perish, just like all the ones I had had before. I also used to hate myself to the core for being different from the others and more sensitive to everything in life. Self-hate and an intrinsic sense of unworthiness led me eventually to think that I should just man up and keep fighting my way up in academia. I wished I could just enjoy life like everyone else, even if that meant to conforming to a miserable day-to-day experience.

Can you imagine if those prayers had been answered? This is the question I asked myself today and I would like to invite you to use it to think about yourself and your life in general. I am more than sure that life wouldn’t have been better if all my prayers had been answered like I thought I wanted. Most of the time, we think we know what is best for us, but more often than not we end up finding out that we didn’t know anything. I became a big believer of the idea that the universe always knows what is best for us, even when we lash out and rebel against what it is given to us.

Yes, I suffered a lot. I suffered to the point of getting ill. Stressed. Anxious. Depressed. Anxious and stressed again. Overweigh. Sleep deprived. Slightly dement. I also grew and developed myself a lot. I cleared up generational codependency patterns, I learned to respect everyone’s nature, good or bad, and I realised I deserve to be well and happy. This year I changed my psychology a lot. To be more precise, I was forced to, because I couldn’t take any more pain. Am I upset about how the complexity of the journey? No. Today I choose to accept what I can’t change. If something I don’t like happens, I can only embrace it and ask what is the lesson in it, instead of consuming myself with desperation and affliction.

I’m not going to lie and say it has been an easy transition. You know it hasn’t. I have documented so much drama here and also how I slowly have evolved from reacting to life with anger to responding to life with compassion and self-understanding. I can finally kiss myself where it hurts the most and I no longer rely on another person to validate me, amuse me or make me feel better. Those unanswered prayers were blessings in disguise. They brought to surface a more aligned way of being and a more nurturing individual, who can now swim and decide when it’s the time to put both feet on the ground instead of almost drowning amidst the panic of not knowing what to do.

Now that I’m closing down this chapter and starting a new one in my life, I have put together a course based on my experience and what I know best from Psychology. It’s designed to help people find their own Life Purpose and support them throughout their journey thanks to a coaching component that I added to the course. It starts on September 8th and it ends on December 8th. It’s an online training series so you can enrol from anywhere in the world and follow it based on your own schedule. If this is something that interests you, you can find more information about it here.

8 thoughts on “Thank God For Those Unanswered Prayers

  1. I am so appreciative of this blog and the story that you share. It has been a similar and equally painful transition for a small portion of us. There is so little out there for guidance or a feeling of familiarity which prompts the ego to go unchecked quite often, with the soul reigning it all in to stay aligned and moving forward. I know we know we are here to build something new, amazing, and for the greater good and best overall outcome. Itโ€™s an engrained feeling that we canโ€™t quit with the knowing it is why weโ€™re here…and that we are loved by something greater than earth life. Thank you for being you and for being a magnet of consolation, clarity and love:)

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    1. I’m so glad you brought that up! ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m grateful you took it in that direction because that’s definitely something I feel and think. It’s like there’s an inner fire that somehow assures us there is something to do here – and yet that fire almost gets extinguished from time to time thanks to a ‘never-ending’ cascade of troubles and setbacks. Sometimes it’s hard to get our balance back. I think it’s important to keep the faith in these moments of pure darkness and in which we can’t see clearly how things are unfolding. “Trusting the process” is a mantra I use from time to time ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for coming by, I really enjoyed your comment and thoughts! ๐Ÿ’‹

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  2. You know, I’m not entirely sure you recognize how helpful your message of enhancing the well-being of others actually is. I recognize your pain and have no issue with telling you again that I SEE you. ๐Ÿ™‚
    It’s not easy in this society to always choose empathy, positivity, forgiveness, and unconditional love for self or others because it requires a level of “work” on yourself that many of us are either ignorant about or unable to tackle without proper guidance. And I don’t care what vehicle is used to get to that place either, I really don’t. I think recognizing that we need help or need to make changes in our lives is the beginning of a long, bumpy, and unpredictable process. I’m grateful to see you “moving” more carefree and at the same time, clearly figuring important things out. Incredibly proud of you….

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    1. Thank you… That’s super, extraordinarily kind of you. I see you ๐Ÿ™‚ and I know you do because I feel it and I trust what I feel now! Hehe. It’s incredibly hard to live in a world of duality and in which we all think we need to be one thing or the other. I believe in empathy, positivity, but I also believe in constructive criticism, feedback, and standing up for ourselves. It has been hard to raise my integrative flag in this wellbeing mission in the real world, but I will keep writing and talking about what it’s real to me… Thank you for your HUGE support! ๐Ÿ’‹ ๐Ÿ’‹

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  3. I agree with you 100%, we do often think we know best but the universe has other plans and our path often goes down roads we would never have imagined. I think about my journey and even the bad things sets us on a new journey and takes us where we need to be. It is fascinating! We learn lessons as we go and sometimes donโ€™t see or realise the benefit of a negative situation until we are out the other side and into something new. Go You! You are on an awesome journey, inspiring others along the way! xx

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  4. Such a beautiful way of sharing all ups and down, i am sure it resonate to majority as life is alive with ups and down when it is straight means dead but people dont have courage to accept the reallity and truth and live in their own cage of stress, anxiety that leads to depression..But yes there is a universe who is continuously listening to all our callings and granting too, thankyou so much for sharing

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