I think it is a gift of acceptance—this surrender to what is and must be—that I can continue onward and rebuild an entire life without her. It is an awesome undertaking. Even now, it appears to be an impossible task. To imagine my life without her by my side guiding our choices and reveling in our shared delight at the grandness of this one wild and precious life, this is new.The Final Gift of the Beloved by Barron Steffen
I can’t imagine what it feels like to know the person we love has died. Gone forever from life’s physical dimension as we know it. I can, however, relate to the experience of losing a relationship and having to accept that the other person won’t be part of my journey anymore.
I believe books always come to me when I need them the most and it was quite therapeutic to read Barron’s book, The Final Gift of the Beloved. In this book, Barron describes the tragic loss of his wife, Seana, and how his spirituality enabled him to accommodate his feelings and thoughts while also having to deal with heartbreaking experiences such as going through his wife’s belongings.
It’s very hard to deal with memories and physical reminders of someone who used to be by your side. In this sense, Barron’s book has helped me to accept what I’m currently going through and it has reminded me that every challenge is a blessing in disguise. Even death can mean life once we become able to see the bigger picture.
As human beings though, we need to learn to navigate the troubled waters of grief. In psychology, it’s commonly agreed that grieving includes 5 stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Although sad for his loss and experience, it was heartwarming to witness how Barron led his own process.
When someone we were deeply connected to leaves, we feel lost and clueless. We ask why did it have to happen now and not later, why do we deserve to go through the hard process of grieving and why does it have to hurt so much. Why, why, why?
I guess we never really know why something happens for us in the moment, at least not until we reach a place in which we can listen and pay attention to life’s whispers. It’s not up to us to control whether someone stays or leaves our life. Maybe that’s something that it was decided before our reincarnation and we can only do our best to heal and find a new equilibrium in life.
May you remember your purpose for being alive. Don’t fall asleep. Onward. Don’t fall back asleep.The Final Gift of the Beloved by Barron Steffen
It isn’t easy, but the hard truth is that life goes on. We must allow ourselves to feel and release whatever we need, knowing that at some point it gets a bit better. Everyone comes to our life to teach us. When people leave, that’s also a lesson and a new invitation to expand our growth and consciousness. Who knows what lies ahead of us?