As someone who loves learning as much as breathing and eating chocolate, it has always been hard to pick a one-way path in life. It has always been hard to pick only one Psychology niche to work with and it has always been hard to find only one meaningful job. I like variety, complexity, and having a creative soul doesn’t make it easier. Work aside though, the same has always been true regarding my personal life. I feel like I am so many things, in so many different ways. It’s a bit like Brooks’ song:
I’m a bitch, I’m a lover I’m a child, I’m a mother I’m a sinner, I’m a saint I do not feel ashamed I’m your hell, I’m your dream I’m nothing in between You know you wouldn’t want it any other way
Bad looking, smelly, and clearly looking like someone who hadn’t had her beauty sleep, that’s how I showed up on campus. I had only one goal so I didn’t care at all about the way I was looking or the chance of bumping into people who would possibly see the worst version of me. Screw that. If I could, I would have had a good night’s sleep and a good, warm shower.
I wanted to briefly say what has been going on and what is the current state of life on this side of the screen. I started adding “PS’s” one after another on my last blog post and each one of them were getting bigger and bigger so I decided the best thing to do was to copy/paste all the information and create a new post for it. So, simply put, that’s what this post will be about… a life update after my anger bursts.
That’s the question G. posed me. A question I don’t know the answer to. I can’t even identify what I feel. It’s a mix of everything. Anxiety. Panic. Anger. Frustration. Sadness. Abandonment. Desperation. It’s all compressed inside this body which got sick again over the weekend. Since last September, I have been with some sort of cold at least once a month. Before I would get sick once a year, worst case scenario. Now I don’t remember what it is like to live healthy for more than a month.
January was tough. I’m still catching up broken pieces of glass and cutting myself here and there. I don’t feel great everyday, but there is an inner knowing that reassures me I’m on the right path. To honour this path, I decided to review here what happened so far this year and why I will be giving myself a time to retreat during the upcoming New Moon (February 4th).
Your Life Vision is the reason why you should be waking up everyday eager to build and work towards what matters most to you in life. My sincere take on depression and other “mental illnesses” is pretty much based on the idea that people need a “Why”, they need dreams to follow, a meaning and a sense of purpose in order to live mentally healthy. In a society where dreams are seen as foolish fantasies, and living your purpose as a total act of irresponsibility, no wonder that 400 to 500 million people throughout the world are currently diagnosed with some sort of mental health problem. So I thought today I should share with you my personal and professional notes on how to create a life vision for yourself.