I strongly recommend that you seek help to bring the possible closure to your story. When we go through such traumatic events, it's almost humanly impossible to deal with it by ourselves. I recently also found out about the work conducted by CICA UK, a governmental organisation which claims compensation on behalf of victims of crime (e.g. child abuse, domestic violence) with a "no win no fee", meaning that if you are unsuccessful in your application, you won't be charged. I know money can't buy or restore our wellbeing, but the sense that justice has been made through a cica claim can bring you the sense that you were heard and that what happened to you shouldn't have happened.