It's not a guy's fault that we ignore the redflags. We play a part in this dynamic and we are equally responsible for depositing hope on someone whose heart is actually full of pain, confusion and misunderstanding. Our hearts are often filled with the same energy and that's why we attract such type. Like many of us, it's not their fault either that they were brought up in a messy and painful home environment. The worst part is, nonetheless, our tendency to project on them what we really want to see in a partner and what we try to nurture within ourselves: compassion, empathy, sensitivity, self-awareness, kindness, understanding.