First of all, I would like to start saying that this post was inspired by Erica’s blog and instagram. Erica is the author of weareglamerus.com and she is probably the only Beauty Blogger I follow regularly. And one of the reasons I have been following her is because she reviews drugstore beauty products as well, which are much more purse-friendly and a great start to anyone who doesn’t know much about beauty products. Second, this is totally not my usual type of post, but we are in 2019 and it’s time for me to open my door a little bit more and talk about other wellbeing-related topics. Beauty is one of those topics and women like myself who have put brains over beauty all their life shouldn’t feel ashamed to talk and share about beauty.Continue reading “My Everyday Makeup Look”
Have you been single for an awful lot of time and struggling with dating? Join the club! In this post I’m sharing with you my most recent and disappointing “match”.
I have been single like “forever” because I know what I want and I know how I want to feel in a partnership. At each failed situationship, I have been raising the bar, and that’s probably why I sometimes think it is going to be really hard to find the perfect imperfect person for me – if I ever do.
I recently came across someone who seemed quite “perfect”: a good humoured guy, intelligent, a huge will to become a father at some point, a cute smile, a similar educational background, but… he is again one of those men who can’t show genuine interest in another person. He never tries to know more about my interests, and he never really has a conversation with me – our chats are monologues, where he tells his stories and I simply listen to his narrative.
You may tell me that this might be the “imperfect” part of the equation. I know no one is perfect, including me. However, the way another person makes me feel is very important and I want to feel heard, seen, and cherished. In our conversations this occurs only in one direction and I certainly don’t have the patience to tolerate this from another guy. He is not the first well-educated and self-absorbed guy who comes my way and he was also not the first one making me cry out of the blue thanks to his lack of awareness. Worse than that, he was not the first one pretending that I was not crying in his presence and that he had nothing to apologise for.
And why did I cry?
Well, it was not because I liked him in any form or shape, it was because he started to lash out at me, using, mixing, and messing up things I had said before to force me doing something I didn’t want to do. On top of that, it became clear that he was looking for a housewife, someone who he would be willing to financially support, and who would live to take care of him, his house, and kids. I guess that’s when my wild anarchist spirit kicked in and told me to distance myself from that guy as soon as possible.
I have nothing against housewives. At some point, I would not mind to be one for a little while, but I would like to share that experience with my partner, meaning that he would have to be a househusband at some point too! This guy though was letting me know that he was looking for someone who couldn’t put her career in front of anything else. Ok, I have been focusing on my career and I am experiencing disastrous results because of that, but to get rid of a career, entirely? Seriously?
I’m clearly not his match. My wild anarchist spirit wouldn’t afford to babysit him and thinking about it makes my stomach revolve. I couldn’t even imagine myself giving him the benefit of the doubt, specially not right now when I’m looking forward to build my own brand and start writing about all those crazy, weird, and silly things that a post-post-modern woman goes through in today’s society. It’s unhealthy for a woman or a man solely focus on her or his career… but I find it much worse to be a woman or a man whose principles are so out of fashion.
My little piece of advice for you who has been single for a long while:
Stay true to yourself, keep your light on, and don’t let anyone smash it!
When you live in a place like England, you need to have some indoor backup plans, so today I thought of doing a quick search for movies that have been “categorised” as inspiring, transformative and life provocative (oh, I like this expression – life provocative!). As a result, I found some suggestions online which also seem to be part of the book book “Positive Psychology at the Movies” (Niemiec & Wedding, 2014).
I already saw some of the suggested movies – others not really. Therefore, I’m going to watch them all, especially in those days in which rain pays us a visit and I start missing the sunshine. I will leave the list below, with a one-sentence lesson and related personal experience next to each movie (as I go watching them).
1. Hector and the Search for Happiness
Lesson: To be happy you don’t need to avoid sadness.
Personal experience: In the last 9 months I lived in Portugal (January-September, 2015), I did like Hector. I didn’t go to China nor visited Africa, but I did some trips in my own country and had a lot of weird adventures while looking for happiness. This was almost right after my “big love” and I broke up. What I can say for sure is that happiness is not out there to be found. Happiness is in each moment of your life; it can be right there, where you are. You just need to start resting within myself.
2. The Great Beauty
Lesson: Before death comes, there is life.
Personal experience: This was a very intense movie. It literally made me go back to Rome and to the excessive latin culture of feeling everything too much and in every way possible. I particularly liked the authenticity of the main character – at age 65, there was no more need to pretend to be someone else or do something that he didn’t really want to. I think this is something we should even embrace at an earlier age – we shouldn’t wait until we reach the age of 65 to be, say and do according to who we really are. Of course, sometimes you will disappoint or hurt people with the truth… but I find the truth to be better, and I do believe that friendships are supposed to be based on authenticity rather than fake compliments. Another thing that spoke to me is the idea that you don’t have to follow the same lifestyle that everyone else seems to have. For instances, if you are happier single and you think you should marry someone to have a specific lifestyle based on that fact… that’s a thought kind of wrong. You must live your life and make decisions in it according to your own rules.
3. Life Itself
Lesson: Kids are an exact mirror of their parents.
Personal experience: This movie is pretty exhausting, in my opinion. You spend the entire time listening to four adults discussing and arguing about not about the problem that brought them together (a fight between their kids) but their own unresolved issues as individuals. I’m surprised to find this movie listen as a “Positive Psychology” movie to be honest. I ended up distressed and feeling like I lost precious time.
5. The Fault in Our Stars
Soon. Oh my, I saw this one before… I’m going to cry like a big baby AGAIN!
6. Moonrise Kingdom
7. The Intouchables
8. Life of Pi
Soon. I saw this one too, but can’t remember exactly the script…
9. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
Soon. I saw this one too. I remember that it was really amazing, but I can’t remember the script…
Soon. I have seen this three times. I fell asleep in all of them, once while travelling from Strasbourg to France, Paris.
11. The Imitation Game
Soon. I haven’t seen this one, but I know that has that very cute, handsome, classic-o-chic actor…