How to Create Your Life Vision

Your Life Vision is the reason why you should be waking up everyday eager to build and work towards what matters most to you in life. My sincere take on depression and other “mental illnesses” is pretty much based on the idea that people need a “Why”, they need dreams to follow, a meaning and a sense of purpose in order to live mentally healthy. In a society where dreams are seen as foolish fantasies, and living your purpose as a total act of irresponsibility, no wonder that 400 to 500 million people throughout the world are currently diagnosed with some sort of mental health problem. So I thought today I should share with you my personal and professional notes on how to create a life vision for yourself.

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Grit Is What It Takes To Make Dreams Come True

I have been listening to a lot of episodes from The Life Coach School Podcast, created by Brooke Castillo and which talks about entrepreneurship, coaching, and Positive Psychology. There was one particular episode that really hit my brain and heart. It was an episode about grit, our ability to persevere and work towards a specific goal while also keeping our passion alive.

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I’m Sorry Dude, But I’m No Housewife

Have you been single for an awful lot of time and struggling with dating? Join the club! In this post I’m sharing with you my most recent and disappointing “match”.

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I have been single like “forever” because I know what I want and I know how I want to feel in a partnership. At each failed situationship, I have been raising the bar, and that’s probably why I sometimes think it is going to be really hard to find the perfect imperfect person for me – if I ever do.

I recently came across someone who seemed quite “perfect”: a good humoured guy, intelligent, a huge will to become a father at some point, a cute smile, a similar educational background, but… he is again one of those men who can’t show genuine interest in another person. He never tries to know more about my interests, and he never really has a conversation with me – our chats are monologues, where he tells his stories and I simply listen to his narrative.

You may tell me that this might be the “imperfect” part of the equation. I know no one is perfect, including me. However, the way another person makes me feel is very important and I want to feel heard, seen, and cherished. In our conversations this occurs only in one direction and I certainly don’t have the patience to tolerate this from another guy. He is not the first well-educated and self-absorbed guy who comes my way and he was also not the first one making me cry out of the blue thanks to his lack of awareness. Worse than that, he was not the first one pretending that I was not crying in his presence and that he had nothing to apologise for.

And why did I cry?

Well, it was not because I liked him in any form or shape, it was because he started to lash out at me, using, mixing, and messing up things I had said before to force me doing something I didn’t want to do. On top of that, it became clear that he was looking for a housewife, someone who he would be willing to financially support, and who would live to take care of him, his house, and kids. I guess that’s when my wild anarchist spirit kicked in and told me to distance myself from that guy as soon as possible.

I have nothing against housewives. At some point, I would not mind to be one for a little while, but I would like to share that experience with my partner, meaning that he would have to be a househusband at some point too! This guy though was letting me know that he was looking for someone who couldn’t put her career in front of anything else. Ok, I have been focusing on my career and I am experiencing disastrous results because of that, but to get rid of a career, entirely? Seriously?

I’m clearly not his match. My wild anarchist spirit wouldn’t afford to babysit him and thinking about it makes my stomach revolve. I couldn’t even imagine myself giving him the benefit of the doubt, specially not right now when I’m looking forward to build my own brand and start writing about all those crazy, weird, and silly things that a post-post-modern woman goes through in today’s society. It’s unhealthy for a woman or a man solely focus on her or his career… but I find it much worse to be a woman or a man whose principles are so out of fashion.

My little piece of advice for you who has been single for a long while:

Stay true to yourself, keep your light on, and don’t let anyone smash it!

The 3 Signs That Tell You Whether You Are In The Right Path

In a previous post, I talked about life purpose and how you can reconnect with your own. What I shared with you was based on many insights that I got from reading once again the book “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho. Since then, I have been focused on working on my life purpose and how to unlock the mission that underlies that same purpose.

So today I want to share with you three signs that will tell you whether you are following the right path or whether you are in the right track to accomplish your life purpose.

Immense Joy

Whatever area you are focusing on, your heart and mind are connected and you feel an immense joy within you. You smile when you either talk about what you are doing or what your vision is all about. Your body expands from inside out and you may even feel like you have a kind of glow all over your, a glow that protects and nourishes you in such a way that no matter what happens the next step is always revealed  to you.

Everything Flows

Joy and all the other positive emotions you feel open not only the way, but also the doors and windows that are necessary in order to help you accomplishing your mission. Of course, we are talking about one baby step at a time, as nothing happens over night, but there is this huge sense of flow: one thing connecting with another and one opportunity leading to many others. All flows.

You Become an Inspiration to Others

Feeling that you are being blessed and accomplishing each milestone of your big mission empowers you and that reflects on how other people perceive you. If you carry a special glow around you, people with the same mindset will feel attracted to you and will also see you as an example, as an inspiration, a light that shows them that they also can connect their heart and mind, just like you are doing. They will feel inspired by the idea that they can also light up themselves.

The 2 Psychological Barriers That Prevent You From Changing

We are gladly waiting for Spring time to come. I think this post is actually somehow influenced by the energy that Spring brings with it, an energy that propels us to clean ourselves from Winter’s excesses and renew or change all that has been weighing us down and stopping us from being our best selves.

From the coaching work I’ve done with incredible people and reflecting upon my own experience as a human being, I have noticed that there as essentially two issues that we need to “clean”, “get rid of” or make ourselves aware of, in order to make all the changes we need to happen. These are:

  • conscious or unconscious fear of change, and
  • uninspiring goals

I talk about each of these barriers to change in more depth in the video below. Hopefully you will get some useful tips as well to unblock your path to change.

 

Fitness Apps To Help You Staying Fit In 2018

In October 2017, I committed myself to start a fitness journey. I tried many times to have an active lifestyle in the past but I gave up on it too often and thus I never endured enough to see the benefits of being active. However, this time I made serious resolutions and I committed to the process, having in mind that I would be better equipped to deal with stress at work and happier with my own life in general.

The results have been far better than I ever expected. I have more energy and I am much more motivated to deal with issues whenever they arise. My mind and body have been speaking for themselves, and I am no longer massively depressed. But this journey has been greatly facilitated due to some excellent mobile apps and that’s what I am bringing you in this post. If becoming more active and healthy is part of your New Year’s resolutions, go grab your phone and search for the following apps:

My Fitness Pal 

This app is absolutely great to track the nutritional quality of what you eat. It allows you to register your meals daily and keep track of your progress. But do not worry, because it’s super easy, you just need to scan the bar code of the ingredients you use in your meals and select the portion you’re having. I really believe that My Fitness Pal is a must have if you want to gain more insight on what you eat (e.g. calories per meal) and the impact of food portions in our daily intake. You can even set nutritional goals and then whenever you go beyond them you will be notified. Another great feature of this app is that you can upload photos of your body as you progress and maintain a record of your weight that can be shown weekly, monthly or yearly.

Cardio SWORKIT 

So far I only use one of the features of this app which is “light warmup”. I use this feature before I start any workout. The app guides you through a series of exercises that are meant to prepare you for your main workout session. You can also configure how many minutes you want to spend on the warmup. I find this feature really useful and handy. Usually I can be listening to music in my smartphone and still hear the instructions clearly.

Zen Labs Fitness – 10K

Whether you love running or you would like to start running, I strongly recommend this app. It basically breaks the big challenge of running 10K in small steps and it instructs you to run three times a week for 14 weeks. I have to be honest and say that I never went beyond the 5th week but that’s because I am not really focused on running 10K. I always go back to this app whenever I choose running as my cardio workout. With this app, you can also be listening to music while running and listening to your instructor’s alerts.

 

Follow me on instagram (@work.life.fitness) for more wellbeing and live updates or on twitter (@vcr_dias) for more research and psychological references on work-life balance.