The ugly pattern surfaced this morning. The difference now is that I'm almost 30, I have lived abroad and I don't have the same tolerance as I used to have. My dad still has it. Whenever my mom 'goes to the other side', he does anything he can to fix it and win her affection back. This morning I felt, however, that I can go without it. I won't push her away, but I no longer want to beg for unconditional love, and I certainly no longer want to be emotionally beaten by her.