How To Find Your Life Purpose

People always hold something within themselves that they wish it could come true. In youth, we usually know what that looks like. Everything seems clearer in that regard and everything seems possible. We dream a lot, we travel within our limitless imagination and we are not afraid of doing so.

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A Very Special Dinner Guest | Questions to Fall in Love | Q1

As I begin to type these first few words, not knowing exactly how this post is going to flow, I can’t stop laughing in my head. Before I tell you why, let me explain though what are these “Questions to Fall in Love” all about.

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3 Tricks To Drink More Water

The first day of the Wellbeing Challenge on Instagram is dedicated to… drinking more water!

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✨10-Day Wellbeing Challenge✨ Day 1: Drink More Water 💧We are not always aware of it, but water is one of the main ingredients to optimal health. It keeps us hydrated, it regulates our body temperature, and it is also responsible for the transport of nutrients and other substances. Most of us don’t drink the enough amount of water, so make sure you’re having at least 2l of water daily 🍶 You will find a practical exercise to track your water consumption during the day on my wellbeing workbook – download it for free at any time at thewellbeingblogger.com or follow the #linkinbio @thewellbeingblogger 👆 . . #wellbeing #instagramchallenge #wellness #water #health #habits #healthylifestyle #wellbeingblogger #wellnessblogger #coaching #healthyliving #instablogger #portuguesebloggers

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We were all taught in school that our body is made of 70% water, and that it is important to stay hydrated. However, many of us dismiss this healthy habit blatantly. My father usually jokes and calls me a camel, because I never drink much water or can spend a long time without a sip.

To be totally honest with you, that joke is still applicable, except when I get focused – really, really focused – on taking care of myself. I believe this can be your case too, so between you and me we have to admit that we do need to take better care of ourselves on a daily basis, not just when things start going wrong.

I have three favourite tricks to get more water into my body, so I thought it could be useful to share them with you here. I’m sure you’re going to laugh about the first one, but I promise you… it works!

1. Have a Glass of Water After Every Time You Pee

Some people will probably find inappropriate to talk about pee, but it’s a very human activity, and I prefer to go literal here instead of using “restroom break” – sorry not sorry. I started to do this unconsciously, so I can’t really tell you when or how this habit kicked-in. All I know is that every time I pee, I now drink at least a glass of water afterwards. If you don’t do this already, give it a try – after a while the body will ask you to do it in an automatic way.

2. Carry a Big Bottle With You Wherever You Go

Whenever I do this one, I can assure you I drink more water. The bigger the bottle, the better, because that way we can be sure we won’t miss it. Also take it with you wherever you go and always place it near you. If you work at a desk, make sure it stands right under your nose! Even if you’re not thirsty, seeing the bottle there will remind you of your goal and make you drink more often.

3. Add Some Flavour To It

Many people have told me that one of the biggest barriers to drink more water is the way it tastes. We can work around this by adding some nice flavours to it. You can add fruits, mint, or even tea. One of my favourite ways of doing flavoured water at home is mixing green tea with lemon and ginger. You can be as much creative as you want and explore different options – I am sure you will find your own favourite mix and start increasing your water intake.

What’s your favourite way of drinking water? Let us know in the comments box. 😉

 

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If you are interested in the 10-day Wellbeing Challenge on Instagram, you can still join in and download my Wellbeing workbook for free.

10 Ways to Boost Your Wellbeing

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Hello beautiful people,

This is a short post just to let you know that I created a workbook to help me manage my own wellbeing habits – and I now share it with you for free, hoping it will help you too!

The workbook explores 10 ways we can boost our wellbeing. Each section has a practical exercise, because talking and processing information in our heads is not enough to produce REAL change in our lives.

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Going Off The Wagon: Whose Fault Was It? Rethinking Motherhood.

I love my mom and my dad. I think no matter what they have done or didn’t do will never stop me from caring and tolerating them. I have to myself that they did the best they could and both of them had little to work with when I was born. I keep that in mind and therefore I guess I never truly judged or blamed them for anything.

I do know, however, that they were negligent. Being massively trained in Psychology it is impossible for me not to state it or hide it. Their parenting style consisted in giving me food to make me content – and even though they are not aware of it they also hoped that food would fix any of my emotions or mood, because they didn’t know how to deal with them. That’s how they loved and comforted me, they gave me a lot of food, because they couldn’t give me what they didn’t have.

Later on, their parenting style led me to a diagnosis of morbid obesity at the age of 15. My doctor scared me and she made sure I understood that I could die at the age of 30, if I didn’t change. I got really scared. Then the fear got mixed with anger and I began to workout and eat well everyday. My parents didn’t really believe I would make it and since then people’s uncertainty became one of my biggest driving force, which is not entirely healthy, but I will leave that for another time.

I managed to take off 50Kg (110 pounds) from my body between the age of 15 and 17. However, I didn’t manage to take off the anger, the frustration, and the anxiety of not knowing how to deal with my emotions and life decisions. I never really recovered from my eating disorder, because food was the only solution I was ever taught as a child. I didn’t learn any life skills and my parents were never able to offer me life advice. That always hurt me and I don’t think my parents will ever understand that what I needed, and still need, is someone to put their hands over my heart and say that it is ok, that I am ok.

I will turn 30 next Spring and I think I reached far by myself, even without my parents’ guidance. Luckily, or not, I grew up sensitive, instead of numb, but the program I have had inside for years is one that reproduces my parents’ neglect: I’m great at giving to others, but I still have a lot of work to do in matters of giving to myself and passively receiving from others. I’m better now at receiving compliments and I’ve been doing an incredible progress at keeping away from people who have narcissist tendencies and who replicate, somehow, the dynamic I was exposed to during childhood.

This past week I had a relapse though, and the trigger was the fact that my mother did not call me as she said she would. She actually seldom calls; she might have called 3 times maximum over the past 3 years that I have been living abroad.  I have already discussed that with her and I know she has her own version why she doesn’t call. I already told her, or at least I think I have, how the lack of spontaneous contact through a call makes me feel. However, she didn’t call as she said she would. She called one week later and I didn’t get it because I was taking a nap.

I didn’t proceed as I used to: I would call her back immediately. Instead, I waited for her to try again. It has been 4 days ever since and there hasn’t been no call or text. As a grown up maybe I shouldn’t be bothered, but the truth is that I went off the wagon. I turned to food again. In fact, I must have spent at least a week only eating fast food and indulging in ice-cream and biscuits late at night. I cried. I ate some more. I checked my inbox. I ate some more.

Again, I love my mom and dad. However… I really think it is time for me to stop waiting to receive the kind of love I thought I should have received from them. I think it is time to realise that they are who they are and I am who I am. It does indeed hurt. It is probably one of the most painful lessons, because all the other lessons regarding failed and abusive relationships… they all derived from this wound which food can’t heal. I think I’m consciously stepping out today as the loving and caring mother of myself. That includes guiding myself with love and compassion… it implies reassuring myself that I am ok and things can now start to settle down.

My heart is expanding, my womb is turning alive, and my eyes are watery. I feel that I’m tearing down the shield I had built around me, which blocked me from creating and using my own female energy. Maybe that’s part of motherhood, maybe motherhood is not just to make sure that your child is fed and quiet. I’m sure that motherhood is also about nurturing, creating, and supporting your own energy as a human being, so that you can then become an adult who is ok with just being and who knows for sure that everything is meant to flow compassionately, despite life’s ups and downs.

Edit: My mom gave me a call at the end of the day 🙂

FREE Online Class: Introduction to Mindfulness Meditation

In this online class you will receive a brief introduction to Mindfulness Meditation.

Learning goals:

  • understand what mindfulness meditation is
  • know the 3 components of mindful awareness
  • get acquainted with the practise of mindfulness meditation
Continue reading “FREE Online Class: Introduction to Mindfulness Meditation”

7 Traits of a Highly Sensitive Person

In this blog post I will share with you 7 common traits among highly sensitive people.

Today I came home earlier to run away (again) from dealing with an energy that I can only tolerate for a short while at the moment. This energy is a mix of anger, frustration, and an achy sense that I’m still the odd one out at the age of 29.

I reached out a friend when I arrived home and asked her “Why can’t we be like everyone else?”. There are these moments in which the blessing of sensitivity transforms itself into a really ugly and bad curse. Then all I know is that being a highly sensitive person (HSP) is too hard, too much, and too painful.

Being highly sensitive, we know what people feel, think, and intend without even knowing them. We can feel what others are going through, even if they are standing on the other side of the road and separated from us by a high fence. This happened to me last Saturday: I went to my office so I could record some YouTube videos. As usual, the building was empty. I suddenly started to feel very anxious for no reason. I realised then that the campus was getting crowded, full of students and families. Freshers were settling in and I could sense the anxiety and fear of students and their families. That’s why I was feeling overly anxious too.

The feeling got so intense that I could not record or do any work here on my blog. I packed my stuff, took a foot path to come back home, and spent a few hours working on my energy field until I felt like I was back to “normal”. This is why sometimes the blessing instantly becomes a curse. As you may guess this way of functioning can be very debilitating sometimes. We become overwhelmed and distressed not necessarily because something happens to us, but because it is our very own nature to be in tune with what and who is around us.

 

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I believe HSPs come to this “overwhelming stage” every once in a while because no one taught us how to manage our energy field. I still don’t know how to handle it sometimes and when that happens I think we feel really isolated, because the majority of people do not understand the way we perceive and sense reality, and therefore can not provide us with the right support.

For all this, I thought it would be helpful for me and others to write a little bit more about the traits of HSPs and explain them the best I can. If our differences make us feel weird, we might as well use them to empower us, so here are what I believe to be the seven most important traits of highly sensitive people.

1. We Are Aware of the Invisible

My favourite book, “The Little Prince”, has a passage which says “what is essential is invisible to the eye” and HSPs feel this to be very true. We can tell whenever there is something going wrong with someone because somehow we assimilate, even though unconsciously, certain signs and details that give us a lot of information about others.

2. We Can Read People

We can indeed read people because of what I explained in the previous point – the fact that we are aware of subtle forms of expression allows us to know what other people feel and even think. I believe this has simply to do with our awareness and I also think that anyone can become highly sensitive as long as there is some kind of training of one’s own level of awareness. That’s why people who start meditating or doing yoga often find themselves more sensitive and aware after some practise.

3. We Are Affected by Other People’s Mood

The fact that we have access to subtler forms of information makes us very sensitive to other people’s states and moods. More often than not we do not control this and I believe that the more we, as a society, learn and accept the way HSPs function, the more we can advance in terms of understanding and finding effective ways to use this ability on demand.

4. We Spend a Lot of Time in Our Heads

Most of us are born-observers and we use or learn to use telepathy a lot. There is a giant, complex and unique world inside each HSPs’ head and that’s why we get lost so often. If there is too much stimulation, we also struggle to stop our thoughts and “hypothesis” test in our minds. This is when we need to get out of our mind and get into our body.

5. Loud Noises, Strong Smells and Tastes are a Big No

I was never able to deal with perfumes, something that most women adore. I also always run away from drugstores and any supermarket’s detergent section. Abrupt noises also annoy me a lot and make my ears and head hurt. I think I’m not so affected by strong tastes, but that’s probably because I use food all the time. I’m very sensitive nonetheless to spices and I can have a hard time with even “mild” flavours.

6. The Experience of Being Hungry and Uncomfortable is Magnified

This is so true… the only time that either being hungry or uncomfortable do not bother me much is when I’m doing something I love such as writing this blog post. Right now, I’m hungry, but my wish to write is bigger than the discomfort of starvation. In most cases, however, whenever I’m hungry or uncomfortable I don’t seem to be able to tolerate it. If the problem is being hungry, I easily become “angry”. If the problem is being uncomfortable, the experience in itself becomes very painful and more often than not bruises or aches do follow it.

7. We Feel a Deep Urge For Being Creative

Our thoughts and feelings run so wildly that using creativity is often our favourite way to manage or balance our energy. From creative writing to painting, dancing, or any other form of creative expression, we do enjoy the feeling of expansion that such activities provide us. It is also a way for us to get “out” of our head and be more in our body.

 

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