So yes, I think the change has already started and my goal for this post was to document the passage, to make it official. Perhaps a confirmation for myself that, despite these first six crazy months of 2019, I can't say that I screwed up or that everything is lost. The pain and the scary moments were necessary for me to learn how to connect with myself, make peace with my sensitivity, overcome my codependency tendencies, and keep the ball rolling. I can't say I'm happy. I can't say I'm sad either. I can say however that I'm ok. I'm showing myself more love and kindness, I'm slowly releasing shame and guilt, and I'm also becoming more patient and less impulsive. There are a lot of things I still don't understand or which don't make sense to me now, but I'm learning to trust the process. I did a quantum jump and for the first time I'm telling myself that it is ok to feel joy about it.