If you missed my last blog post, I am currently spending the night at Gatwick’s airport. I love this kind of thing, because it always gives me a story to tell. After the bag mystery being solved, I moved to the second floor and I have been observing. Well, I have been reading and catching up with WordPress as well. While I was scrolling, a young girl with a huge backpack sat next to me. She seemed so young, wild and free. She was everything opposite to what I am feeling – old, grumpy, and locked.Continue reading “Do I Still Have Time?”
When I realised there were no buses or trains to Canterbury by the time I would arrive to Gatwick, I felt very pleased with my decision of returning to Lisbon. No, I’m not in Lisbon right now, I just arrived to Gatwick’s airport where I will spend the night until the next available train to the end of the world. Lucky me I get to experience one of those British movie scenes in which someone leaves an unattended bag in a seat and there are at least five people from security looking at the bag and whispering “don’t touch it”. Exciting times.Continue reading “A Night At Gatwick’s Airport”
I wanted to briefly say what has been going on and what is the current state of life on this side of the screen. I started adding “PS’s” one after another on my last blog post and each one of them were getting bigger and bigger so I decided the best thing to do was to copy/paste all the information and create a new post for it. So, simply put, that’s what this post will be about… a life update after my anger bursts.Continue reading “Life Update: Am I Downgrading or Upgrading?”
I only noticed how poorly I was breathing until I landed yesterday night in Lisbon. How did things become so heavy? At what point did I stop being positive and turned into a grumpy, annoying, all-the-time stressed, little gnome? When, exactly, did I stop being ‘me’ to become a human black hole?Continue reading “I Can Breathe Again, Away From The Queen’s Land”
I guess I haven’t shared much about my life as an expat in the UK. Well, some ugly details have certainly slipped away, but I know I haven’t dug too deep on that. There is a whole interesting cycle that I’m sure someday I will be delighted to describe here. For now, I just want to share how excited I am about my return to Lisbon.Continue reading “Expat Life: The Return To Lisbon”
I remember as if it was today, the day in which my British acquaintances couldn’t really look me in the eye. That was the day when we all got to know that UK voted to leave the European Union. What a moment in history to be an expat in this country.
At that time I felt disappointed, even betrayed. All the unconscious bias toward foreigners I had been suspicious of was now supported by a nation’s choice. On that day, I wore my Portuguese flag as a scarf on my neck and joked around: is was not only Brexit that was happening; Vanexit was occurring at the same time. However, things calmed down a bit, after the storm. As we all know, Brexit hasn’t formally happened yet, and my plan to remain for at least 5 or 10 more years was somehow restored.
Something changed again though. Brexit is no longer that big worry, or at least it no longer weighs down on my decision to stay or leave. I now simply want to leave, and probably never return, unless for business purposes. I’m tired of being by myself and feeling like my days are dull and grey. When I come back home, there’s no one there to sit down and chat about my day. I have no one to speak my own language – and I don’t mean Portuguese. UK’s culture and people’s way of being caused me more hurt than joy.
Maybe I just made up my mind some time ago and stopped trying to be happy here. Maybe that’s the actual truth. Nonetheless, I think I have done a pretty good job at living and working abroad by myself – three years is a considerable amount of time. Also, working on the same project for such a period of time when I’m more creative than analytical is also quite an achievement in my perspective. That makes me feel I’m not quitting, I’m simply listening to my body (my sciatica is killing me today) and soul’s (I want to do crafts, paint, write…) desires, which I should have done sooner.
Right now, I just want to go home. I don’t know if I will stay there for a short or long while. All I know is that I need to be there to figure out what the next step is. I need to breathe-in that feeling which I can only find in my home country, the country which gave worlds to the world.
In the beginning, I used to pack like anyone else, but soon it hit me that there had to be another clever and more effective way to pack all I needed. I did a google search and found out about the technique you can see in the picture below: every piece of clothing becomes a little roll and magic happens. Using this trick, I can now pack much more clothes.
I like to have a good coffee before I head to the airport. Coffee not only wakes me up as it’s actually a ritual that prepares me to another brand new adventure!
A good book to read
Another must have is a book that gets my unconditional attention. I found this at the Whitstable rail station and it’s all about positive organisational behaviour and leadership.